Tracks & Trails
by FullyMessy
Summary: His chest heaved as he struggled to breathe. The tracks were so clear. So obvious. But still he stared at them, thinking that there had to be more. This couldn't be it. She couldn't just be gone. Not like this. (Caryl Prison Fic / season 4)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

He rolled over on the small bunk to face her. She been squirming around just as she always did and as usual it had woken him up.

She smiled at the movement and shifted her body to the edge of the bunk, until he got himself settled on his side.

The sheepish smile he was met with extinguished his, as she called it, shitty-morning-mood.

It took him awhile, but he had finally realised it was better to just shut up when she done crap that frustrated him. Like how she moved and stretched out next to him in the morning, poking her elbow into his back, pulling at the blanket until she was wrapped up like a burrito and he was laying there freezing his ass off.

He figured out pretty quickly that if he started bickering with her in the mornings she will get pissed off and they would both be in a shitty mood all day. So, he had to learn to pick his battles, and he had figured out which ones he had a chance in winning. This was not one of them.

She knew it annoyed him when she wriggled around like a worm, digging her bony body into his back like it was her job. But she did it anyway. Every single day. Until he just got used to it.

He often wondered if this was that _rut_ thing that people talked about. Because every day was the same and he found comfort in knowing that she was going to be there, annoying the shit out of him, before he had even had a chance to open his eyes.

He found that he felt odd if she didn't brush her lips against his before they parted ways. If he didn't hear her worrying over stupid crap. Talk to her about her day over dinner. Feel her elbow digging into his spine in the mornings, or watch her go through the messy cell looking for whatever. These things were small, but important to him. These things made him feel like they had created a home here together.

Carol moved over until their bodies were pressed together again and placed her hand on the side of his face. He unashamedly closed his eyes at the contact and hummed in approval. This was something else she did every morning and every morning his reaction was the same. It felt good. He felt good. So he didn't really care if she was rolling around on the mattress in the mornings, seeking out more space that didn't exist, because it was what added to to this little life he had with her and if this was a rut he was in, then he was happy to be stuck in it.

The sheets hung across the opening and they were more alone then they ever had a chance of being, but the sounds of everyone outside always managed to kill the mood.

He tried to convince her ignore the noise, just as he did every morning. He kissed her neck and ran his hand under her shirt and over her bare skin. He could feel her giving in when her fingers were knotted in his hair, pulling his lips to hers. Maybe today would be different, he hoped. But this was something he hoped for every day and it was always met an interruption.

He wrapped his leg over her and in one quick manoeuvre he shifted her body under his, before quickly lowering himself onto her again. His hand moved up under her shirt again and he began running his tongue over neck, occasionally planting kisses on her skin as he made his way down to her collarbone.

"Is Carol awake?"

The sound of Maggie and Rick made him moan and drop his body onto hers in defeat.  
He knew it was over when he felt Carol's hands freeze in place. He had lost and she was as good as gone. Seconds ago those hands were firmly placed on his lower back, pulling him into her. Now those hands were tightening around his waist and moving him off her.

"Fucks sake" he mumbled into her neck, before dropping onto his side while she got up and started getting ready.

He stretched out on the small mattress and watched her search the room, trying to cover his amusement. He clamped his lower lip between his teeth, trying to hold back his smile.

He watched her shake her head and mumble "_seriously" _under her breath and he was pretty sure he heard her quietly cursing his name.

"It's under that pile of shit" he grumbled, pointing to the mess on the small table. Carol spun around and followed his gesture.

She grumbled out something else as she lifted his dirty clothes, revealing her knife as she did.

He couldn't help but watch with enjoyment as she clenched her jaw and bit her tongue, while going through his crap to find her belongings.

He was messy and he always had been. Just as he was sure she had always stretched out on the mattress in the mornings. They just had to accept these habits and move on. Accept that they both done a load of shit that the other didn't like. Like now, when he ignored her as she picked up the broken watch and slipped it in her pocket.

He rolled on his back as she sat on the edge of the bed to start putting her boots on.

"What she want?" he asked quickly trying to hide the fact that the tattered anniversary gift bothered him.

"Told her I'd go with her to clear the blockage"

He nodded. This wasn't unusual for Carol, Maggie and Michonne to do. It had becomes one of their morning routines. But as used to it as he knew everyone was. He still didn't like the idea of her going beyond the fences without him. But he wouldn't make the mistake of bringing up that again. He didn't need the yelling this early in the morning and he didn't want to hear the lecture again.

"We should rig something up, so that stops happenin" he added pulling the sheet back over him. Carol nodded, leaning back on him raise her foot and finish doing up the buckles.

"You still going out today?"

"Mm hmm" he hummed as he ran his fingers over her back , listening while she pestered him about being careful. He asked her to do the same. But neither asked the other to change their plans.

"You hanging around for breakfast?" she asked as she checked her gun over quickly.

He shook his head. "Nah, goin early. Be back before noon"

She nodded in response and turned to face him.

He didn't think twice about leaning up on his elbow, reaching out to pull her close. Briefly pressing his lips to hers, watching her smile as she got up to leave him.

It was his routine and he found solace in every part of it, even those parts that annoyed him.

He watched as she pulled the sheet across, ready to leave when her eyes met his for a second. He was sure she wanted to tell him something, but she seemed to shrug it off when the sounds in the cell block grew louder. She rolled her eyes at the sound of her name being called out again, before smiling at him and disappearing out of sight.

He could have asked what it was she wanted to tell him, but instead he let her leave without another word.

* * *

Most days he would leave the prison , whether it was with a group or alone. He was always out getting supplies, scouting new places to raid, hunting or looking for stray people to bring back.  
He had gotten used to skipping breakfast, always wanting to leave and be back as quickly as possible, just so she wasn't here stressing out over his absence.

He walked down the path towards Glenn and Tyreese, who were talking by the car, waiting on his arrival so they could be on their way.

He couldn't help but look across the yard at Carol.

He realised as he looked over that he had already caught her eye. She smiled widely at him, but then went back to leaning into the big water drum and talking to Maggie.

He looked out and noticed that the group of walkers by the stream was growing, he just assumed that they decided to put it off until tomorrow and that Carol had been dragged from their bed for nothing.

He checked her out one last time before getting into the car with a smug grin.

_After all, t__here was always tonight._

He and his group had returned back to the prison earlier then expected. They had found what they were looking for quicker then they thought they would and had spent most of their time inspecting the location from afar, taking notes on what they thought would be the best way to get in and out as safely as possible.

He jumped out of the truck and instantly started wondering through the courtyard where everyone was eating lunch. He looked around, expecting to see her cooking or serving. But instead he only saw Beth and Karen, it was their scheduled day but he still expected to see Carol helping out. He stopped for a brief second scanning the grounds for her but when he didn't spot her he gave up and started heading towards their cell block.

On his way he checked their infirmary and armoury. Since the arrival of the people from Woodbury she moved around the prison a lot. She spent all of her time helping the new people get comfortable and making sure everything was running smoothly. It sounded simple on paper, but it was more difficult then most people assumed. The people from Woodbury all came with their own set of skills to offer, but they also came with issues that needed to be dealt with. Carol worked hard, trying to fix everything she could, knowing in the end it would all pay off. The prison would be stronger with the new additions and she wanted to be apart of making that happen.

When he couldn't find her in the armoury, he headed up the stairs to their room and pulled the sheets across. He only had to look around the cell for a second to realise she hadn't been back there. Everything was exactly as he left it.

He tried not to get anxious, but she shouldn't have been this hard to track down. Over the last year she had gone with him to check the snares every afternoon. They would eat lunch together and slowly walk the trails that they had made themselves.

They never caught much in the small traps, but still he would set them every time he hunted. He liked the walk and the time alone with her and she had made it clear that she felt the same way. So he had to wonder why she wasn't eagerly waiting on him to leave, like she usually was.

He walked back down to the courtyard and saw Rick standing across from Maggie while they picked food out of their bowls. He approached them quickly but continued to look around the area for her.

"Hey, how'd you go this morning?" Rick said squinting at him through the beaming sun.  
He rubbed the back of his neck and nodded.

"Yeah the place looks good, we'll take a group out in a day or two" he replied, chewing his lip while his eyes danced around.

Rick nodded, happy with the successful scouting trip. He tried to pay attention as Rick began making a plan to raid the store, but he couldn't focus on anything Rick had to say. He looked around again and couldn't help but think about how odd it was. He couldn't focus on anything but the nervous ache rising in his gut.  
"Hey" he said anxiously, interrupting Rick's words, that he hadn't caught.

"You two seen Carol?" trying to hide his desperation, in case his distress was unnecessary.

"She's not inside?" Rick asked with obvious concern rising in on his features, as his own realisation clicked in.

Rick quickly gripped his shoulder trying to calm him down. "She might just be-"

"I've looked everywhere. No one's seen her. Besides she is meant to be heading out with me, she's always hanging out around here" he snapped at Rick, feeling his own panic grow as he realised they were just as concerned as he was.

Rick's concern erupted quickly as he continued to explain that he hadn't seen her all day. He watched as Maggie suddenly looked over her shoulder to the stream outside the fence. And he remembered the plans that he and Maggie had made.  
"You two go out there?" he asked drawing her attention back to him.  
Maggie shook her head quickly.  
"No we couldn't. There was too many." she stuttered out, causing his own breath to hitch at the sight of her fearful expression.

"You think she went out there alone?" He asked, his voice raising in a panic that he had not hope of controlling.  
Maggie's eyes dropped to the ground searching the concrete for an answer.

"I don't think I've seen her since this morning either."

He didn't have to hear anything else from them, he ran down to the fence with Rick and Maggie close behind. He began undoing the wire as Rick and Maggie caught up to him. The three of them jumped out the opening and began taking down the walkers that were scattered around.  
He looked over as two more began approaching quickly.  
"Go" Maggie demanded with much more force in her voice then he had every heard her use.  
He didn't need convincing. He ran off ahead of them, letting them cover him so he could make his way down to the stream.

But he didn't have to go far before he seen the hose sitting in the mud.

His chest heaved as he struggled to breathe. The tracks were so clear. So obvious. But still he stared at them, thinking that there had to be more. This couldn't be it. She couldn't just be gone. Not like this.

"What?" Rick asked cautiously making his way to his side as he followed her tracks into the woods.

His hand reached out pointing to the tracks. "Over there. she got dragged off"

He followed the tracks that only got worse and worse. He could see where she had struggled free. Where the man caught her again. He could see that she had been dragged along the dirt, until their tracks met up with another mans, and hers just disappeared.

They had carried her through the woods, to a car parked by the road and that was it. She was gone.

He could hear the panicked broken sounds erupting from his chest and feel his hands shaking and struggling to hold the crossbow as Rick caught up to him.

The thought flooded his mind and he couldn't stop it from repeating itself in his head.

_What do I do__?_

_W__hat do I do__?_

_W__hat do I do__?_

Rick followed his panicked gaze to the tire tracks in the mud, his hands instantly raised and ran through his hair, before he quickly turned away from them as if the tire tracks were to obscene to look at.  
But Daryl couldn't stop himself from starring at them. Noticing where they stopped and started, memorising each detail of them as though his very life depended on it.

It wasn't until Rick reached out and grabbed his arm harshly, yanking him back into reality.  
"We have to get a car" Rick barked urgently.

He looked around nodding, unable to form words, not knowing what he would say even if he could.

East, he thought.  
That was all he knew. That was the only clue they had.

* * *

He felt like they had been driving forever, but he knew it was only because he was horrible aware of every single minute that passed them by.

He and Rick were in the first car, while Maggie and Glen followed behind them.

Rick hadn't said anything except to plan the next stop and assure him that they would find her. Rick repeated it over and over, until he found that he was saying it along with him. Like it was a chant, like it could change anything. Even as the words left his mouth they sounded like a lie. Like he was playing a role and reading lines from a script. And he was doing a shitty job at it.

He prayed he was stuck in a nightmare that she would soon wake him up from. Just as she had done a hundred times before. He would open his eyes, she would run her hand over the side of his face and they would both be ok again. But as the sickening feeling in his gut grew more and more by the second, he knew without any doubt that this was real, because as vivid as some of his dream were, he had never felt anything like this.

They slowed down near some trails looking for recent tracks, they checked houses and cabins that they knew were close by the prison. But they were losing the light and the adrenaline that was keeping him going, was wearing off . It was being replaced with an overwhelming ache, that began tearing him apart quickly.

* * *

Rick and Maggie laid the map out over the hood and Glen began running his finger down it, explaining what he thought the next best move was.

He stood watching them all, holding his arms tightly across his stomach, wanting the pain to fuck off. He wondered how much worse it could actually get, before it just killed him.

"What about that cabin" Maggie said pressing her finger firmly to a spot close by.

Glenn nodded "Yeah. He might have gone there. It's pretty hidden" he agreed, scanning his eyes over the map again before he spoke. "We could check that burnt-out farm on the way" he added, running his finger to a closer spot.

"They" he choked out cutting Glen off, they all froze and looked at him confused.

"What?" Maggie asked waiting for him to continue. His arms tightened as he leaned forward to speak, his voice breaking as he did.

"There were two sets of tracks. Other then- other then Carols. It looked they both got into the rear passenger door with her, which means there's was probably a third one in the car waiting on em. Could be two, could be three, could be four or five…_they_" he said hearing the tremor running through his words, unable to stop himself from leaning himself forward even further, hoping to ease the gnawing pain in his stomach.

Maggie suddenly started rolling the map up and shoving it under her arm.

"We have to go", she almost shouted at them with wide eyes, as she got back in the car.

By night fall he felt like he was spinning. All the air was leaving his lungs and he found it hard to suck back in what he needed.  
He wondered if Rick could see him braking down, because he insisted he pull over and let him drive the rest of the way. He watched the gauge, between scanning the area.  
Glen and Maggie already turned back an hour ago. because they were running low on fuel. They had emptied the drums stashed in the car boot and now it was just the two of them driving in silence.

He could see Ricks jaw clenching, knowing that they were running out of time. They hadn't spoken about it, even when Glen and Maggie said they had to go back.

Both he and Rick had just quietly gotten back in the car and drove on without question.

But now Rick's hand was hitting the steering wheel as he began turning the car around. He couldn't help but stare at Rick, feeling like he himself was nothing but a kid. Like Rick was the adult and he was meant to know how to fix it. But Rick was just as clueless as he was.

"Maybe Glen's right. Maybe it's the governor and if it is, he will just hold her because he want something. Probably Michonne or me. And if that's true, their all at home coming up with a plan right now."

"You know it's not him" He breathed out as Rick started driving down the empty road.

They kept looking for any sign of her as they drove back to the prison, but it was all shit they had seen before, no clues or traces, nothing new.

It wasn't the Governor and he knew it. Another group from the prison had headed towards what was left of Woodbury. More people were hiding out on the road by the prison, waiting for some kind of ransom notice to appear. But he knew it would never reveal itself. He knew what he had saw. He knew that all the different groups searching for her would come up with nothing.

He and Michonne had both been chasing after the governor for months. The trail had gone cold, but only after the governors tracks showed that he was alone and very far away.

Rick knew all this, but he was still trying to feed him this crap. Or maybe he was trying to feed it to himself. He wasn't sure anymore who it was that Rick was trying to fool.

The spinning got worse, because he knew what Rick was trying to avoid. He wanted to fill the space with words, any words he could because when he didn't talk it gave Daryl time for him to think of all the possibilities. But Rick had run out of empty promises and fantasies, now there was nothing left for him to occupy his thoughts with. No places to search the map for. Nothing but the road ahead of them, one that would take him home without her.

Suddenly the only thing he could think about was what was happening to her. Why a bunch of men would just snatch a woman from her damn home-…  
"PULL THE FUCKIN CAR OVER" he yelled, his hand clutching the door handle in anticipation. Rick followed the command, looking over his shoulder as he pulled off the road.

"What?" Rick demanded looking around them for danger. Rick grabbed his gun watching in shock as Daryl quickly threw himself from the car.

Rick undone his seat belt to chase after him but there was no point. He had only made it two steps out of the car, before he started puking on the side of the road.

He wondered, as his sweaty palms leaned into knees to hold him up, if he could live with this. If this was it, if that was all they got of the rut they had built. She was going to die one day. He knew they all would. And it was always going to hurt.

But this.

Like this.

He desperately tried to remind himself over and over, that she was not that scared women anymore. Tried to remind himself that she could handle herself. But it didn't work. She was outnumbered by men who had the jump on her. She was alone. He never wanted her to be alone.

Rick didn't say anything when Daryl got back in the car. He avoided looking at Rick, not wanting to see any signs of pity or concern. He just stared out the window as they got closer and closer to the prison.

"I should of walked over."

The words fell out of his mouth without any thought, as if he was unable to help himself from voicing them. Rick turned to see him lost in the thought, confused by the mumbled statement.  
"When?" Rick questioned, urging him to continue.

"Before I left this morning. I saw her. I didn't go over."

"I don't think she would have minded" Rick assured him, his voice remaining calm and firm as he spoke.

"Just a fuckin asshole …." he stopped, shaking his head and running his hands roughly over his face before he could say anymore.

"We just need to get some supplies. We don't have to stop there for long" Rick explained, surprising Daryl with the promise.

They had been on the road for more than twenty-four hours. He was sure Rick was going to have to stop and sleep eventually. He had already accepted that he would have to leave Rick behind. But it wasn't the case, he could see the determination in his tired eyes. He had no plans on sleeping, for which Daryl thanked god.

He knew he couldn't stop, he wanted to keep going, but also, the thought of returning to the prison was enough to make him want to be physically sick again. He couldn't let himself go in there and get in their bed. If he went in there it would all be over. He knew it would brake him down. He had to keep moving.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

He opened his eyes and looked up from the backseat of the parked car. They were at the prison. Rick still in the driver's seat, fast asleep, leaning his head into the window.

Daryl wondered when he had finally passed out.

Rick had all but dragged him to the backseat of the car and demanded that he lie down, even if it was only to relax himself for a few minutes. He had done it only after Rick had promised him that he wouldn't stop. Though he had also threatened that he would drag Daryl back to the prison if he continued on like this.

The part of him that instantly got mad at Rick for bringing them back here, vanished when he realised that he didn't know where it was that he wanted to be. They had been searching for days and they were no closer to finding her.

He sat himself up and looked around the yard. Most of the cars were still gone, everyone was still out looking for her. But they had all just been wondering around blind. Ticking off spots on a map like a checklist.

They knew for sure it wasn't the governor now, there were no messages or trades offered for her. He knew it all along, but a part of him always prayed he was wrong. The governor didn't know her, he would only want to use her to get Rick or Michonne. It had been the only small shred of hope they all had, but that was gone now too.

He looked at the prison and still couldn't bring himself to go in there. He had barely stepped foot in there, because he honestly didn't know what he was meant to do once he was in there.

He got his crossbow and bag, then quietly removed himself from the car, leaving Rick to sleep.

He had to keep moving, no matter what. That was all he knew. So whenever he found himself back here, he circled the prison, moving out further and further each time. But he didn't find anything that would help them find her.

He followed what remained of the faint tracks, back to where hers disappeared. The second man that had arrived, had to have come from somewhere. So he began following them until the tracks were to faint to see. They had been left too long, but he didn't need them anymore.

It became clear after a while of being out there, that the men had probably just stopped to hunt and found all the snares and traps he had set. He knew this because the snares were empty and all his traps had been taken. They had been following the trails that he and Carol had created on their walks around the prison, all of them leading back to where she had been taken.

After Merle died he was out there every day, at first he was waiting for the governor, then he was just wondering around in the woods without purpose. She had begged him to stop. She told him he wasn't thinking clearly, but he just ignored her. He walked off on her constantly and he had told her, using some words that he would rather not recollect, to go away.

He wanted her to leave him alone, he wanted to dwell in his misery, but still she followed him into the woods and refused to stop.No matter what harsh words he threw at her, no matter how much he dismissed her she was always right there behind him.

And like all the other annoying shit she done, he eventually got used to it. Before he knew it, he found himself looking for her before he left.

She was good out there, quiet and smart. She watched him track animals, always asking him what he was looking at. He showed her what to look for, how to follow the tracks. But she never trusted her instincts, she always had to double check with him, always following behind him when she could easily have been leading.

He found himself on his knees, carefully moving the twigs and leaves aside again, to memorise the prints left in the mud from the man who took her. Even though he had done this more times then he could count.He wanted to make sure he knew every little detail.

This was it, he thought. Being out here, tracking ghosts. Always thinking she was just around the corner. Or wishing it anyway. He had done this when he lost Merle and now he feared he would be doing the same, when he finally had to accept that he had lost her.

He looked at it and knew he would remember it forever. He knew he'd see the imprint every time he closed his eyes. He wondered if the dreams would eventually intertwine with the ones he had about being out there looking for Sophia.He knew they had to.

He couldn't find the girl and now he had lost her mother. And he didn't know what was happening to couldn't distract himself from that thought and it was eating him alive.

He wanted to focus on the trail, focus on the signs. Fuck, focus on anything but that.

But he couldn't lift himself off his knees. He couldn't stop himself from digging his hands into the dirt, destroying the man's tracks like it would somehow hurt him. Like the stranger could somehow feel the rage he had in him. That he would know what he was going to do to him, when he finally caught him.

He could feel the tears stinging his eyes, feel his chest and throat aching. But the feeling of breaking down only snapped him back. He fiercely shook his head and stood to his feet, groaning and running his hands down the side of his face as he did. Forcing the switch inside of him to shut off again. Forcing himself to be numb. Because he didn't have time to feel this.

He made his way back to the prison. The small amount of sleep he had in the car was only just enough to keep him going and his anxiety would do the rest.

As he made his way up to the yard, he could see Rick walking to the car before he suddenly stopped and squinted in his direction.

Once he knew he had caught Ricks eye, he stood out of sight until the car left the prison. He waited until the car got close and walked at it, knowing a walker was approaching.

Rick waved his arm urging him to move faster. But he made no attempt to run from the walker that was coming at him.

He let it stumble right next to him, grabbing a handful of the walker's shirt before shoving it back so hard that it fell down. It gave him just enough time to get in the car, before the thing hurled itself into the glass of the window, snapping at them.

He knew Rick wanted to ask what he was thinking, but that was only until he got in and Rick got a proper look at him. Until he saw his red eyes and dirt smeared on his face. Rick visibly swallowed down his words and and turned his eyes back to the road.

"What's this?" He asked pointing to the red marks that had recently been added to the map.

"Michonne" Rick said quietly not taking his eyes off the road as he spoke. "She gave us all new routes, planned out the next few days"

He could hear it in Ricks voice, he had given up.

He realised Rick hadn't even said Carol's name once the entire trip, like he knew she was already gone.

The fury building in Rick continued to grow, but now they were out here looking for something to kill, they were here to play the executioners, not the saviours.

_'We're not gonna find her and he knows it'_ he thought as he watched him drive.

He knew now more than ever, that he needed Rick. He needed Rick to be positive and tell him lies, repeat that bullshit he had been chanting for days. But he didn't. The group had barely been able to bring Rick back after Lori and now he could see that same cold and bitter expression hardening on his face.

Rick couldn't help him anymore, he just wanted revenge. Wanted blood.

* * *

It had been five days and there was nothing. As if she had disappeared from the face of the planet and every fibre of his being was aware of that absence.

He walked slowly and quietly through the cell block in the darkness, finally making his way to their room.

He couldn't believe how tired he was, how he was too exhausted to fight it anymore. He couldn't hold it together and he couldn't keep running around trying not to think about her. She was all he wanted to think about. He wanted to fall into the despair and drown in it. It was the only thing he had left.

He pulled the sheets across the door and stumbled through the cell, his eyes filling with tears as he crawled into their bed.

He couldn't stop himself from crying, he could smell her in the sheets and that alone made him want to crawl inside the mattress and die there.

He gripped its fabric as the groan burst from his chest. In his head he pleaded for something to make this all stop as he pressed his face into her pillow muffling the pained sounds that broke from his chest.

He bargained, he begged, he promised to anything that could hear him.

He wondered when the last time was that he had prayed to god. He was sure he done it when he was a kid, but he couldn't remember falling to his knees and asking for help.

It always seemed pointless to ask something of someone he didn't believe in, something he always knew was bullshit.

But here he was. Pulling at his hair, the sheets, his face, everything. This was all he had left. A desperate attempt to drag her back to him. Begging to some mythical force that to give him back the only person he had ever really cared about. But nothing happened.

Soon, even her smell would be gone he thought, then she'd turn into a memory. Something distant in the back of his mind that he craved after and longed for.

He knew the time that they got together would seem like a dream, which he would have to convince himself was real. That someone loved him like that. That he loved someone like that, when he had once been so sure he didn't have it in him. He knew now, because of her, that he had been wrong.

He knew who he was with her, he knew what he wanted to be. But this? This thing wailing around on their bed, moaning like an animal, growling into a pillow. He didn't recognise this person, the sounds or the feelings were not something he knew he was capable of.

He didn't realise that life without her would be a hundred times worse than life was before her.

A part of him hated himself for ever being with her to begin with, it wouldn't be this bad if he hadn't of given into loving her. He should have fought it off, he should of ignored it. He should have ran off when the feelings emerged.

Something about the prison made them think they were cut off from the world. That they were shielded from everything happening around them, the chaos growing outside those fences was becoming almost invisible and silent.

He made the decision to let go of all of his crap. He forced himself to believe that she wouldn't leave him and showed her that he wanted her as much as she wanted him, and he did that by relentlessly pursuing her. She may have been following him around the woods, but he had followed her everywhere else.

How could he not of seen what he was setting himself up for?

It was on him, he'd done it all to himself.

He had kissed her while they were on watch in the tower. Then he did it again in the woods, when she wouldn't bring up the first kiss.

He had sneaked into her cell every night, until there was no point in hiding it from anyone.

That was all him. He had chased her. He was sure he needed her to survive and now lying here without her now, he knew he was right.

Everything inside of him twisted and ached and he found himself wondering what it was he would have to do to make it stop. What would make it quiet again?

The thought was constant and it only added to the noise in his head, making it unbearable. That was how he fell asleep, his body contorted into an unnatural position, his face pressing into a pillow and horrible noises erupting from his chest, sounds he didn't know it was possible for him to create.

And he knew now that this was his fate, this was nothing but a preview of every night that awaited him.

He only let his eyes close for a brief moment. But now he could see her covered in blood. It was dark and she was stuck in a place out of his reach. He couldn't make out her features, smell her scent or feel her touch, but his mind had told him that it was her.

She was suffocating under the heavy mass of blackness. Neither of them could move, as if they had both been buried alive and couldn't claw their way out.

He wanted to call out to her but his mouth released no sound. He could hear her ragged breaths all around him, but they sounded weak and dimming.

He listened to them carefully, knowing as long as he could hear them that she was still alive. It was the only thing that kept him from panicking.

Every intake and and release was proof that he had her, that he hadn't lost her. He just needed to stay calm and then he would find a way to save her. But before he could find a way to dig his way out, the sound was gone. She was gone. As if she had never been there to begin with.

And with that his eyes snapped open to find the faint light from the morning sun filling his cell.

For a split moment he found himself waiting for her elbow to dig into his back or feel her hand run over his side. But the absence of it all stabbed something inside of him. Suddenly the bed was huge and cold and he couldn't stand it.

He forced himself to roll over and look at the empty space, he ran his hand over it for a moment when the memory hit him.

He had watched her strip down, the light of the moon had made its way into the cell and her skin seemed to absorb it, making her glow. He lifted the blanket up for her to climb in with him, not lowering his arm until their bodies pressed into one another and his brow rested against hers.

In reality there had been nothing special about the night. She had returned from helping Rick settle Judith, just as she had done dozens of times before. But his head had repeated the memory a hundred times over since that night. Because that night he was sure he could feel something warm spread through his blood. He knew he loved her. He always knew it, always felt it to some degree. But there was also a part of him that was blocked off, not allowing those feelings to creep in, in case he got hurt again. But that night those wall came down and what he felt for her consumed every part of him until it was so overwhelming that he could barely stand it.

His fingers grazed the sheet where she should have been sleeping, where she should have been safely lying beside him. Suddenly a clear and intrusive thought broke into his mind and he couldn't ignore it. _She's dead_.

His fingers squeezed the fabric of the mattress digging into it, until he was using it to push himself to his feet.

He stumbled over to the small table where she had all her things neatly arranged and without a second thought he dragged his arms across it. Everything went crashing onto the floor as a low growl cracked through his dry throat. He grabbed her clothes and threw them through the room, kicking at everything that was in his way as he stormed out, stopping only to get his crossbow and his gun. There was nothing clear running through his head anymore, just a jumbled mess of thoughts and the desperate need to make all of this stop right now.

He was sure someone would have heard his outburst in the cell, but if someone had called out to him, he wouldn't have heard a sound. There were a million thoughts in his head, a million enraged, scared, pained voices that screamed at him until they all blended together and he couldn't figure out a way to calm them.

Was this what went through peoples heads right before they did it? he wondered. He had never understood those people who killed themselves, never understood how you could give up. How you could decide to stop fighting. He had seen it as a weak thing to do. But now he could see that it wasn't weak, it was necessary.

He had run so far into the woods that he could no longer see the prison. He had thought that maybe it was that place. He thought maybe being there in their home was making it worse. But the further out he got, the more he realised he couldn't run away from it.

She was in his head, in his blood pumping through his veins. He was sure he could still taste her in his mouth and feel her skin under his fingers, but it didn't comfort him for a single second. It was a kick in the gut, it was only making everything more real. It made the screaming in his head louder, but he didn't want it to stop anymore. He knew that one day he wouldn't remember exactly what she felt like, sounded like, what it felt like to be her's.

His breathing accelerated at the idea of her not only being gone from this place, but being gone from inside of him. All those memories and feelings would fade with time and he would be empty and hollow without them.

He dropped his crossbow and fell to his knees along side it.

She had never left him alone. Not once. He had done everything to make sure he did the same for her. And here on his knees in the middle of the woods, he found him self reasoning that this act was no different. He would follow her, he would be with her no matter what.

He could hear himself gasping for air but it sounded so far away.

He could feel the tears on his face and his hand pulling out the gun, but it didn't feel the way it should have. He didn't feel in control of those actions. As if a part of him had already left this body, as if he was already half dead and he just needed to finish the job.

He raised the gun and lifted his head, choking out a horrible sound. He forced a few deep breaths and opened his eyes, ready to give in to the pain when he saw the dead walkers on the ground. Three fresh corpses in the dirt, piled on top of each other. But over the last week, no one had come out this far, no one but him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

He quickly slung his crossbow over his shoulder and rose to his feet. Before he was completely upright he, he was already pointing his gun out in front of him, turning in place and looking for any signs that he was not alone.

His first thoughts were that the men who took her had returned and were waiting to snatch more of them up. He couldn't let that happen. Logically he knew that he should be racing back to the prison. He needed back-up. He knew Carol had been abducted by more then one man, so if they had come back, it was likely that he would be outnumbered. But his logic lost the battle to his anger.  
He wasn't going to run away from any of it. He would happily fight them, even if he didn't make it, it would be worth it.

He turned quickly when he heard the sound of something moving behind him, but when his head spun in it's direction, he could see nothing but a walker in the distance. It was far enough away that he didn't have to worry about it just yet, but other then that there was nothing.

Keeping his gun ready, he backed up towards the pile of bodies, hoping to find a clue that would point him in the right direction.

He could hear his laboured breaths scraping from his lungs and the tears on his cheeks quickly drying, as he prepared him self for the fight he had been waiting for. One that he had been craving since he first saw her messy violent tracks near the stream.

He looked down when he felt his heal hit the pile of walkers. He took one last look around him before dropping his eyes to the ground, ready to inspect the bodies.

In his head, he started planning. He would search the area and find the tracks that led to this spot. He would find a lead and he would go after them again. He had a plan. But nothing he had planned out in his mind prepared him for what happened next.

He didn't have a second to asses the rotting corpses or their odd position, he didn't have to question why they were there or who had put them there. Not when he saw the hand that was laid out in the dirt, barely peering out from under the bodies.

Her hand.

"Carol?"

All thoughts of being watched were instantly erased and his ears started ringing. He dropped his gun without a second thought and started hysterically pulling at the strap of his crossbow until he had tore it away from him, tossing it to the ground alongside his gun.

He grabbed the first walker and yanked its body aside, then moved so quickly he almost tripped over, before pulling another walker aside.

As he yanked the second Walker, the third rolled of her from the strong movement, leaving nothing but Carol, laying on the ground, covered in blood, guts and dirt.

The sight took his breathe away and knocked him to his knees beside her.

The steady rise and fall of her chest was the only proof he had that she was still alive. He was sure right then that he fell into some kind of shock, because he couldn't fully comprehend what was happening. He briefly wondered if he had pulled the trigger and now he was back with her, like he had planned on being.

He hovered over her, feeling his jaw trembling as he ran his shaky hands softly over the sides of her face, repeating her name over and over. But she didn't stir from the sound of his voice or his hands on her. He knew she was out of it, he knew she had to be hurt, but he had no way of know just how bad her injuries were.

He made no attempt to wipe all the thick, drying blood of her. He needed to get her out of here now, he needed to get her to Herschel and the doctor. Because though he could see her breathing, he feared that it could stop at any moment.

He knew that he would have to carry her home and his mind raced through the hundred different ways he could get her back there, but there was only one safe way he could think of.

His head snapped from Carol's to the discarded walkers and without a second thought he moved quietly over to the closest one. He took a few fast, rough breaths preparing himself before he pushed the knife into the flesh, dragging it down the stomach of the rotten corpse.

They've all done it, he thought. Glen, Rick, Michonne and now Carol had. He could do this.

He inhaled deeply and held the breath as he pulled the knife out and quickly reached his hand into the body. He started grabbing at its insides, blindly, ripping them out so he could press and smear the crap all over his body.

He thoughtlessly kept going, until he was sure his clothes were drenched. He reached into the carcass as far as he could and soaked his hands and arms in the walker's blood, so he could start rubbing it into his skin. He kept going until he was completely smothered in it and he could smell nothing but the dead.

The adrenaline pumping through his veins had his heart pounding and his hands trembling as he roughly slung the crossbow onto his back, along with the unfamiliar bag that Carol had hidden under the pile of walkers with her. It was to much to carry but he didn't want to leave anything behind if she was being followed. And he didn't want to leave something that could be used against them or used to track them.

He knelt over her and looked from side to side, scanning the area again to see if any of the walkers had spotted him, before he slid his arms under her. He waited to see if the men who took her, had followed her here, and were just waiting to pounce. The thought made him want to move as faster.

He quietly lifted her blood-soaked body from the ground into his, with one fast movement. She was light in his arms, but her unconscious state made it awkward, the weight of the crossbow and bag only made it harder to handle. And that fact that he was still weak from the lack of sleep, made the task seem almost impossible. But he knew he could push himself past all of the discomfort if it meant he could take her back home.

He brought himself up right carefully, shifting her around in his arms so he could hold her as carefully as he could, knowing she had to be injured. He hoped whatever damage had been done to her, wasn't getting worse by his hold on her.

Once he was on his feet he couldn't help but stop and look down at was so close that he could feel her breath hit the wet skin on his neck, he could feel the weight of her small form pressed into him. But something about it just didn't seem real, like he was watching it all happen from somewhere outside of his body.

It was like a dream. A part of him waited to wake in their cell, without her. But the smell of the blood made him assured him this had to be real.

* * *

She was slipping in his arms as they got closer. Walkers were nearby and he felt like they were watching him, realising what he was.  
He had to try and get a better hold of her, needed to shift the knife that was attached to her waistband, adjust it so it wasn't digging into him.

He decided to move behind some trees, so he was hidden away from the walkers that wondered the trail ahead of them. He attempted to take a step back when his foot got caught in something that he couldn't pull himself out of. Just as he realised it was a root that he'd gotten his boot caught in, he lost his balance, falling back as he tried to untangle himself.

He braced himself as his back slammed into a tree trunk. It had stopped them from falling but the weight of the two of them crushed the crossbow into his shoulders, jamming it in between the blades.

The pain threw him to his knees and he sealed his mouth closed. The throbbing ache caused a growl to erupt through his chest, threatening to leave his throat. It took everything he had left not to release it and draw attention to them.

He stayed there on his knees for a few seconds, breathing out rapid breaths, to ready himself for the pain that was going to come as soon as he stood.  
He rose slowly and started again, his jaw clenched as the pain got worse, but no matter how much it hurt he kept going.

He remembered the day that he had pulled her from the tombs. He had thought she was dead then to, but it had been very different between them both back then. She was his best friend, a member of his group, she was his confidant and in a very quiet way, she had also been his protector. She didn't fight his battles or save him from the threats of the world. What Carol did do was much more important, she protected him from the voices in his head. In her own silent way she had argued with them and that argument was something she still actively worked to win, even though it appeared to him that there was no end in sight.

So it had hurt when he thought she had been killed by the walkers, along with T-dog. He felt as though he lost something very important to him. Something he had cherished and had wanted to keep.  
But this time when he had lost her, it had felt like he had lost a part of himself. As if someone had taken an axe to one of his limbs. Ripped his heart from his chest or sucked his soul from him.  
So he couldn't really understand why now that he had her back, he still couldn't fully feel it, he couldn't seem to accept it.

He could barely breathe or stand by the time he made it back to the prison. He looked around at the walkers that had followed him there, watching as they started making their way to the fences to join the small clusters, none of them noticing as he separated from the group to make his way to the driveway.

He carefully leaned his hip and leg into the rough bark to help support him while he adjusted her in his arms, trying to relieve the pain that was spreading through his shoulders. But it didn't help.

He watched the tower and waited until he could see Sasha make her way to the railing. This was his chance, he spat out the blood and sweat that was running over his lips into his mouth, whistling as soon as he did.

He prayed she was just looking through the scope of the rifle and not preparing to shoot, until she was suddenly gone from his sight. He listened as she desperately called out to Maggie and sighed with relief, knowing he was almost there.

He kept his pace smooth and slow, no matter how hard it was, a part of him wanted to fall to his knees and just hope the girls got to him before any of the walkers did.

The dead were focused on Sasha opening the gates, then Maggie running through them to cover him, so that this journey could finally fucking end.

The few walkers that weren't taken down by the traps were quickly killed by Maggie. She moved around He protecting him as he stumbled through the gates.

He finally heard the fences snap close behind him, Rick yelling his name and someone else calling out for Doctor 'S'. Rick approached him just as the weight of her in his arms and the crossbow on his back became too much to bare. Right when he was seconds away from dropping her.

He could feel Maggie trying to brace and steady him as Rick finally got to them.

He tried to step in his direction, almost falling forward as he did. He pushed Carol's body into Ricks chest harshly and he responded by instantly taking her from him.

Rick watched the pain cover his face as he suddenly began pulling at the strap of the crossbow and bag, tearing them off him. Soon after he tossed the bag to the ground he was hunching his body over, so he could lean into his knees. Rick seem to be stunned staring at him, like he was waiting for instruction and Daryl was happy to give it.  
He growled at him and told him to go, waving his arm as he dropped to his knees.

* * *

His eyes watched the Doctor, waiting to see if his expression changed as his hands moved all over Carol's body looking for any damage.  
He sat on the edge of the bed helping Caleb roll her over on to her side so he could check her back.

Rick passed him the wet bloody towel again to smear as much of the blood as he could, to give Caleb a better look, but it never revealed anything other then a mass of scattered bruises.

Caleb ran his fingers over her ribs, inspected the marks, finding more and more as the protective layer of dirt and guts was removed. He noticed that Caleb didn't seem to be worried about any of it. But he also wasn't talking anyone through what he was thinking.

"Well? She ok?" He questioned when Caleb's silence finally got to much for him to handle.

"She's going to need some stitches here" he answered inspecting the open wound on her wrist, with a puzzled expression as he kept his gaze locked the deep cut.

"Stitches?" Rick repeated in disbelief.

Caleb's brow furrowed, "There's no breaks, no signs of internal bleeding and no bites",

"So, she's alright?" He asked urgently, needing to hear it.  
Caleb told him that they would know more when she woke up but that he needed to relax. He let him finish, but scoffed in response.

_Was he fuckin serious? _

_Relax__?__._

He looked over his shoulder to Maggie, Rick and Hershel, thinking at least Rick would be with him. But all the anger had vanished from Rick's eyes without warning. The face of the farmer was back, irritating Daryl instantly as he took in the hopeful and calming expression that Rick was now holding. He wanted the enraged cold-blooded killer that had been with him in the car. But Carol's presence seemed to have sedated that side of him

All of them dropped their heads, obviously agreeing with Caleb, making his jaw tighten in frustration. He wondered if it wasn't obvious to them, could they not see that he was already two steps out the door?  
He knew he would be able to follow her tracks back to where she had come from, there would at least be something. He could go in the morning and finally have something to fucking follow and he could finally get his chance to kill the assholes who had walked into his backyard and taken the only person he had ever really given a fuck about.

* * *

Eventually everyone left their room so they could rest, but he wondered if it had more to do with the suffocating smell that had filled the small cell.

He sat on the ground by the bed leaning up against the wall as he held her hand in his. Mesmerised by how it looked, still trying to convince himself it was real. He ran each of her fingers between his and kept his eyes on nothing else but the simple act.

He didn't know how much time had passed when Rick wondered back in, holding the strange bag that he found Carol with.

"Did you look in this?" Rick asked keeping his voice low, holding the bag out in front of him. He looked up at Rick as his his free hand ran along his chin, while he lightly shook his head. He was barely able to keep his eyes open, he was exhausted, but beneath that was a fuelling rage that was ready to spill out and he was sure now that Rick could see it.

Rick knelt in front of him and put the bag on the ground. He unzipped it and began carefully pulling out the knives and boxes of bullets, and gun after gun, placing them on the ground until there was a pile of weapons filling the space between them.

The finger he had running along his chin had frozen in place, shocked as he looked at all the weapons.

He sat confused, watching as Rick began opening the boxes of bullets, showing him that they were all full. He moved in close to make sure Daryl was listening, opening the final box, pushing it towards him.  
"There's a possibility, that there is no one left out there to look for" Rick said firmly as Daryl's eye's left the bullets to look up at him.  
"They didn't just give her these Daryl. She took them."  
He starred at him, considering the possibilities. Trying to decide if it mattered to him. Even if she had gotten the upper hand, he thought he should still make sure they were all dead.  
"All I'm saying is wait until you talk to her before you leave. That's it." Rick said firmly as though he could read his mind.

* * *

He woke in the dark cell on the floor. He was still half asleep as he reached both his arms out, attempting to stretch out the stiff aching knots in his shoulders that had only gotten worse since they got back to the prison.  
He grabbed a hold of the bed railing, using it to drag himself to his feet.

He reached down to run his hand over hers once more, assuring she was still actually there. It was dark in the cell, but he could tell by her steady breaths that she was still sleeping soundly. Dr 'S' had promised him that he had given her something strong and that she wasn't in any pain. He couldn't hope for much more right now.

He ignored the pain and pulled his body onto the top bunk, falling back to sleep as soon as his head hit the mattress, with the knowledge, that she was once again, safely sleeping near him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

He hadn't been asleep long when his eyes flew open. He was sure he heard something in the cell. For a moment he was dazed and wondering if he had dreamed the noise, but within a second it returned. The sound was Carol, coughing uncontrollably in the bunk below, trying to catch her breath.

He moved to quickly, forgetting how high up he was and forgetting the damage he had done to his back. He stumbled of his mattress, landing awkwardly on his heel as he hit the ground.  
He tripped backward into the bottom bunk, pressing his hand into her mattress to stop himself from landing on top of her. He had barely touched her bed when her body suddenly sprung up and moved behind his.

Before he could think, she threw one arm over his shoulder and dug her nails into his chest, dragging him back onto the mattress. The other arm was around his neck, pulling his body back into her, more violently then he ever thought she was capable of. It was then that he realised that something cold and hard pressing to his neck.

She pressed the knife into his throat so roughly, that he was sure she was only seconds from slitting it.

"Carol"

His voice shook as he choked out her name, making her whole body go stiff behind him, but her grip never loosened.

He could feel her struggling to breathe behind him, as her chest heaved into his back. She was horrified, keeping it pressed hard against his skin as she panicked. Even though she was seconds from killing him, all he could think about was his weight on her, pressing into her small form that was covered in bruises.

"Carol it's me"

"It's me" he repeated trying to stay calm when the pressure on his throat faintly subsided, still feeling the rough edges of the blade grazing his skin.

He could feel her body only slightly relax as he moved his hand, reaching up slowly to brace her arm, so lightly he was barley touching her.

He made no attempt to stop her, to pull her arm away, or get the knife off her, he just wanted to make sure she knew it was him, that she was safe. He hoped the soft touch, would help her understand that she was home.

He ran his thumb back and forth over her arm and moved his other hand up to his chest, carefully plying her fingers from the spots they had dug themselves into. Gently, he held her hand there in the same place on his chest.

He stayed like that, making sure the only part of his body moving was his thumb over her arm.

"It's me"

Her whole body suddenly shuttered behind him and he was sure it was the moment she had just figured out where she was.

"It's alright Carol. Ya safe" before he could finish whispering her name, he realised he couldn't feel the blade at his throat anymore. He froze as her arm moved and he heard the knife drop onto the hard floor.

He felt her arms repel from around him, as she fully took in what she was about to do. Her body crawled away from him, until she dropped back against wall and he could hear her hysterical breathing fill the room.

He slowly turned his body to face her, he could barely see in the darkness as she craned her neck towards him, slowly, as though she still wasn't quite sure it was him.

"Daryl?-" she choked out, with a strong shake running through her words and he knew she was still disorientated. She was still trying to figure out how she had ended up here.

He quickly leaned off the bed and lit the lantern. When he turned back to her he found her in the same position against the wall. She looked him over for a for a few seconds and he didn't know what he was supposed to do. He wanted to gather her up in his arms but held that back and decided it was best to stay still.

Her mouth hung open and her eyes danced over him in complete disbelief, stopping on his neck as she started shaking her head slightly.

"I didn't know- I didn't-" she barely whispered out, while she searched over the skin on his neck for any sign of damage. Though he knew she wouldn't find anything, other then possibly a faint red mark.

"It's ok. I'm ok" he promised leaning towards her. He intended to prove that she hadn't hurt him, he didn't want her to be worried about him right now. Before he could show her that he was ok, she quickly crawled forward on her knees and he found himself frozen as her hands landed on him.

Within seconds he felt his entire body tremble as her hands run over his face, examining his features with the tips of her fingers. It was something she had done a thousand times over and the memory of that must have still been lingering in her fingers because she suddenly choked out a sound and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face into the crook of his neck.

He melted into the embrace and slid his arms around her waist carefully.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that for.

* * *

He wrapped her arm around his shoulder and his around her waist, as they stumbled towards the showers. He had stuffed what they needed into his pack, so he could use one hand to help her and the other to carry the lantern.

There had only been so much he was able to clean off her, no matter how hard he had tried to remove it. It seemed like no amount of scrubbing would do it, in the end he felt like he was just moving it around from spot to spot and he was worried he was hurting her without knowing it. He hadn't even worried about himself. He had wiped his face and hands clean but he was still drenched in it.

No matter how exhausted they both were, he dragged them down there in the middle of the night, ignoring the pain ripping through his shoulders as he supported her weight.

It had been her idea to head to the showers and he had agreed, but it wasn't long after he had left that he wished that he had have asked someone for some help.

He leaned her body into the cool tiles of the wall as he quickly removed his clothes, and began the task of slowly peeling hers off. He tensed his jaw as he listened to her hiss at the careful movements. He apologised a dozen times and she had responded with nothing more then a light squeeze of his shoulder and a whisper that she was ok. Though he found it very hard to believe.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and guided her into the stall, holding her up as he moved.

As soon as they stepped in he instantly pulled the chain, letting the water fall on them and wash away the all the blood, guts and mud that stained their skin.

He had taken his time drying Carol off, using as much care as he had used when he was cleaning her in the shower. Once he was sure she was dry he helped her into her robe, deciding it would be easier to dress her once they were back in their cell.

He didn't bother drying himself off to much. He had done nothing but quickly pat himself off with the towel before throwing his jeans and shirt on quickly. When he was finished he looked over to where she was sitting on the bench to find her watching him with an expression he couldn't decipher. She looked like she was concentrating on something. Her eyes were on him, but at the same time it felt like she was looking passed him to something else.

* * *

There was a stool in the room, that he often had clothes piled up on, but during his recent outburst everything had been tossed around. He lowered her down on it and quickly started moving around the cell.

He'd started talking when they got back to the cell, just to fill the silence, but she never responded with anything more then a hum or a nod and he never pushed for anything more.

He changed the sheets on her bed and got her a clean blanket and continued babbling like a lunatic, because he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"There, that's done" he said rubbing the neck of his neck after he was satisfied the bed was made, roughly the same way she liked it to be made. He had seen the care she took in making it. She liked the sheets put on a certain way and she liked the pillows fluffed, and he liked that he knew that about her.

He went over to the dresser and pulled out some clean cloths, his lip turning up slightly when he held them his hands. What were once his clothes.  
Carol had one pair of flannel pyjamas that she only wore during winter, if it was stifling hot she slept naked. But when it was somewhere in between, she wore a pair of his boxers and a shirts, both of which she had claimed as her own. He had poked fun at her, calling her a thief, but he hadn't really minded.

He turned around and held them up. "These ok?"

There was a hint of a smile on her lips and she nodded reaching across the small space to him.  
He took her hand and used his other hand to hold her waist as he she slowly stood up.  
He didn't think to much about taking her robe of, he thought he had seen the worst of it in the shower room. But the lantern hadn't been able to light the large space the same way it did the cell.

He worked to hold back the feeling that quickly rose up when he saw the bruising she was littered with. He wanted to stay focused on getting this done for her and getting her fixed up, so she could go back to sleep.

But as he knelt down he found it hard. He took her hand and placed it on his shoulder for her steady herself on while she stepped into the boxers. And he had to physically choke back the stinging in his throat as he pulled them up her waist. The bruising on her stomach was the worst of it, there were parts that were almost black and he felt himself shake when he his eyes landed on them. There was more on her arms, ribs and on the outside of her right thigh.

As he slipped her shirt on he helped lower her back onto the chair.

"Just gonna change those bandages on ya wrist. Clean up ya stitches. I'll clean those ones on ya head as well. Alright?"

He received a nod and a forced smile, that she struggled to hold for more then a second before her eyes dropped to the ground.

He quickly gathered up what he and cleaned the stitches on the back of her head like Caleb had told him to do. Trying to make sure that nothing of the corpses she had been covered in was still on the wound.

He got himself down on his knees in front of her and positioned her wrist on her lap, so he could start taking care of it.

He began unwrapping the bandage when her voice broke through the silence. "How did I get here?"

He stopped what he was doing and looked up at her, chewing his lip for a moment. "Found you out there. You were under some walkers. You hid under them?"

Carol nodded and dropped her eyes from his.

"I couldn't keep going" she said with more defeat and sadness in her voice then he could stand.

He dropped one his hand on to her thigh and lightly rubbed his hand over it. "Hey, that was smart. Done good."

"You carried me back?"

He nodded and went back to what he was doing, slowly cleaning her the wound on her wrist and wrapping it back up.

"You wanna tell me what what happened?" He asked carefully looking up at her.

He could see her muscles tense and the wall, that he knew well, coming up around her. He knew her. He knew how she liked the bed made, what she wore to sleep and he knew what that look meant.

"It's alright. Don't gotta talk about it right now"

Carol nodded watching as he finished doing up the clean bandage.

He let out a heavy breath "Fuck. I'm just happy ya here. I mean, I thought-"  
He shook his head, unable to finish his thought and looked back up at her. Her face had softened and her eyes were focused on his, as she reached out and took his face in her hands.

He felt inside of him shatter like glass at the touch. He had her back and now he could feel it. Now it was real. But as he looked up at her and felt the hands on him, the anger inside of him only seemed to grow.

He wanted to kill them. In some ways, he wanted to kill them even more then he had. When he thought she was dead, it was easier to accept that he should just give up. Without her everything had seemed useless and pointless. But now he had something he wanted to fight for again.

* * *

He pulled himself to the edge of the bunk and slowly started lowering himself off, grinding his teeth together to stop the sounds of the pained growls erupting from his chest. He looked over to see if he'd woken her and found himself minutes later, still watching her sleeping.

He rubbed at his arm as the feeling hit his stomach. The scrapes and bruises were minor, according to Dr 'S'. But they were there and they stirred at something deep inside of him, bringing something to the surface he didn't want to deal with. He found himself stepping back from her when his eye caught the knife on the ground. He shouldn't have been surprised it wasn't her knife, none of the shit she came back with was hers.

He leaned down awkwardly and grabbed the knife throwing it into the bag with the rest of the weapons, that was when he felt his toe touch something.

He wasn't sure what was in the small box, but he had seen the small blue thing a million times. It led him to look around the cell as the light of day revealed the mess, causing him remember what he had done yesterday morning.

He crawled around the stuffy cell on his knees, picking up all her things one by one, then quietly putting them all back in place. He gathered all their clothes together and folded them all neatly in to piles and put them in their place.

He kept cleaning until he realised he was just trying to avoid looking at her lying there, avoiding fixating on each mark and wondering how she got it.

There was always going to be a voice in his head, telling him to walk away when things were too hard to handle. He could go and hunt them down like he had planned yesterday, before she tried to slit his throat open in the dead of night. Before he saw the marks clearly and had hours to dwell over everything, time to think through every small detail, again and again. It was the fuel he needed to get the anger burning, but it made it hard to sit still. A part of him wanted to go right this very minute.

The other part of him wanted to lock the cell door closed and toss the key, because he wasn't sure he could ever let her out of his sight again. How could he go anywhere, when no one else at the prison was paying any attention to her when he left? He didn't trust them anymore, not with her. That was the only thing keeping him here right now.

There was to much anger burning in him. There was to much fear and pain still left inside of him. He could still remember how it felt when he was out there looking for her. He could remember what it had felt like lying in their bed knowing he'd never see her again. And those feelings, they had to go somewhere. He knew better then to think that they would simply subside or fade away.

He dragged the mattress of the top bunk onto the ground and sat on it next to her, leaning into the wall. It was still dark, he knew it was to early to be up, but he couldn't drag himself up there again.

He sat there wondering how none of them saw her out there that day. There were so many people working at the fences and no one saw her out there alone? Rick was out there fuckin around, playin farmer and he didn't see or hear anything.

Hell, no one event noticed she was fuckin gone until he got back.

The thoughts continued into the morning when he heard her moving around on the bunk next to him.

"You in pain?" he asked quietly, even though she didn't look it.

Carol weakly shook her head, as her hand reached across the bed towards his. He closed his fingers around hers. Her eyes met his for a moment, before they drifted over to the wall, staring blankly.

He couldn't stop himself from looking down to her hand in his, examining the bruises on her arms and wrists, he wanted to ask her what happened again, and he was sure she knew that, and that was why she was avoiding looking at him.

He was thankful she was at least holding his hand. At least she wanted him there, he could feel that much by the way her fingers squeezed his. Without it he would have had to wonder.

Her expression never changed and she didn't look back over at him, she just kept her eyes fixed on the wall until she fell back to sleep.

He knew just how different they were when shit like this happened.

She always did this. She just blocks it out. Shuts it out.

Not once did she ever try to make him feel like shit, just because she was mad. She had never walked away from him or avoided him, not like what he had done to her. Never yelled hurtful crap in his face.

No, what she did was almost worse. She just ignored it and kept going, convincing herself she always had to be ok. Never really dealing with anything or talking to anyone, not even him. There were so many things that Carol refused to let anyone else in on. He knew that getting answers from her would be near impossible. But he was going to try anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I hate this chapter. I tried to fix it but I got nowhere with it. Eventually, I just gave up.**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

The cell was stuffy and warm but he didn't leave it for more than a few minutes, no matter how uncomfortable it got.

Two of those times he'd left, he returned to find that Carol had company. First he came back after filling up their water bottles and found Maggie with her. He hadn't heard any signs of a conversation, but when he came back in Maggie obviously had tears in her eyes and she had swiped them quickly before excusing herself. She had patted his arm as she passed him, but offered nothing more.  
After dinner he had come back from clearing their dirty dishes to find Carol and Rick alone in the cell. He never heard anything more then some muffled noised before he came in and from what he had heard he was sure it was a one sided conversation that Rick was carrying.

Carol didn't have much to say. She was guarding her silence and he had found himself still missing her. He missed arguing with her, because he thought they were pretty good at it. He missed her smart ass remarks, or the smirk she held when she was simply thinking one that she didn't intend to voice, unless he dragged it out of her. He missed her nagging him about his mess and grumbling to herself as she sorted though his things to find something of hers.

He thought about the domestic bliss he was in before all of this and those memories added more fuel to the fire burning in him.

He sat silently in that same spot on the floor, leaning into the bed frame. He lost hours as he imagined ripping the faceless men apart. Thinking about how satisfying it would be to see the pure fucking horror in their eyes as repeatedly plunged his knife into their chests. He could think about it forever, if it meant he didn't have to wonder what had happened to her.

Her body jolted in the bed, shaking the frame as she snapped her eyes open. She instantly started scanning the room, just as she did the night he brought her back here. Only now she was unarmed and she seemed to notice that before she realised where she was.

He told her she was safe, reminded her where she was, but it took to long for his words to make any sense to her. In that time he could only watch as she struggled to calm her self down.

He found himself wanting to give her back the large knife she had tried to kill him with, not wanting her to feel unprotected, even for a second. He could handle himself, if she woke and tried to attack him again. He decided he would rather it, hell he preferred it to the terrified look on her face.  
At least she would feel like she was in control if she had the knife, instead of that panic hitting her because she knew she was vulnerable.

For brief moment he was sure he saw her roll her eyes at him. Whenever she briefly woke, he noticed her examining his position next to her. She probably thought he was being ridiculous or over protective, maybe even losing his mind. Truth was, he was worried that having to lift himself onto the top bunk again would just make his back hurt even more than it did. The upside was that he could listen to the familiar sounds of her sleeping. Knowing now from experience that he couldn't sleep soundly without them.

After awhile, she was breathing normally again and settling herself back onto the mattress. He could feel her soft fingers over his rough hand. Repeating the same gentle movement over his hard skin until she fell asleep again, as if she was trying to soothe him.

* * *

He could hear Rick moving around the halls, mentioning his name to people quietly. He let out a huff, and shook his head, deciding to find Rick before he came into the cell chasing after him.  
He used both his hands to wipe the sweat from his face into his hair, before he used the bed frame to hoist himself to his feet from the ground. Taking one last look at her sleeping before he made his way into the hallway.

He listened as Rick muttered out insignificant details about the run, rambling about how he had to leave the car outside the fence because the gate was swamped with walkers. He nodded in response and tried to wipe the scowl from his face. Mostly he just tried to ignore the reoccurring idea of punching Rick in the face.

He knew Rick had raced up there after getting back, just to make sure the he was he was still around. He wasn't blind, he had seen Rick watching every move he made. Whenever he left the cells, Rick eyed him cautiously, waiting for him to run off and track the men down.

He wanted to ignore the twisting feeling in his gut and the burning dryness in his throat, he knew this wasn't Rick's fault. But still, he needed to continually remind himself of it.  
The need for someone to blame was still pestering him and he found the urge impossible to ignore.  
The way Rick watched him only made the irrational aggression grow. Each time He caught Rick monitoring him as he filled the water bottles or grab some food, it just made everything worse.

"You're staying put then?" Rick finally asked, keeping his voice low as he tilted his head towards him.

He bit his lip and his brow scrunched as he shifted away from Rick, back in the direction of the cell. Carol's closeness had entered his mind. He tried to listen out for the sound of her breathing or moving in the bed. Something to reinforce the knowledge that she was still there and still safe. He thought it would make him feel better. But instead he got even tenser, forcing himself to face Rick again, folding his arms across his chest as he did.

He responded with nothing more than a shrug, not knowing how to lie or why he should. Rick realised instantly he had every intention of leaving and he watched Ricks features tighten and twist.

"And if something happens to you while you're out there? You don't even know if there is anyone out there, has she even said anything to you?"  
He instantly thought about Carol trying to kill him with the knife and how Rick would see it. How he would see her. That thought seem to only boil his blood more, until it was too much for him to contain.

Rick was right, she hadn't said anything about what happened, so what right did Rick have to assume he knew. As far as he was concerned, Rick was just making crap up with no evidence to back it. Nothing but some guns and bullets. Forget the bruises, scrapes, blood and guts.

He stepped at Rick aggressively, "You think she killed all these pricks, right? To make ya self feel better" He accused, glaring at Rick as he spoke.

"Then where's her gun, her knife? She just leave all that behind ha?" He spat out his jaw tightening as Rick attempted to speak.

His voice began to echo through the cell block but he continued raising it while he stepped towards him, pressing his fingers into Rick's chest, using the pressure to push him back.

"She knew we'd be lookin' for her, but she stayed away from the roads. She was still hiding, use ya head."  
Rick's expression softened as he reached out for him, hearing his voice break as he spoke, but the gesture was quickly swatted away.

"Stop acting like nothin' happened to her", He growled through his teeth, his voice still managing to shake as he did.

Ricks hands raised defensively as his voice deepened."You know that's not what-",

"Bullshit" he growled revealing even more of his pent-up hostility. Rational or not.

"You wanna live in ya dream world, instead of noticing what's going on around you" he watched a rage fill Rick's eyes when he snapped at him, but he found that it only made him want to keep going.

Rick nodded, smiling sarcastically.  
"Oh this is my fault, right?" Rick said desperately trying to keep his cool when nodded in response.

"Yeah, dam right" he barked back at Rick."You should have been keeping an eye on her, you should have seen her instead of worrying about dumb crap. Out there playing farmer like we aren't still neck deep in shit".

Rick nodded, almost ignoring the outburst, knowing that Daryl was simply looking for an argument.

A vicious snarl left his throat as he stepped towards Rick, so close he was towering over him, ready to attack until he seen the expression covering Rick's features, showing he would take whatever came next, just to keep him at the prison.

"I would never have let her go out there alone. You know that" Rick protested, keeping his calm and levelled voice. "I would never have let her go out there" he pressed again.

That's when it hit him.

He knew Rick was simply talking about the water pump and Carol going out to fix it without back-up, but his mind manoeuvred the words and twisted them in his head, until it hit him.

It wasn't Ricks fault. It was his.

He thought about how quiet Rick had been in the car when they looked for her. He wondered if he was thinking it then.

He had been walking her through the woods every day, getting her comfortable out there. Making her think she was safe. They had been out there playing pretend just as much as Rick had been. At least Rick played the game inside the fence.  
He shouldn't have had her out there.  
This wouldn't have happened if he hadn't have got her thinking they could go out there and be ok.  
He knew now, more than ever, that his frustration building towards Rick really was absurd and unjustifiable.

The same thought repeated, making him step back from Rick. His stomach sinking as he did.

He shouldn't have had her out there every day, it could have just as easily happened even with him next to her. It could have happened that very afternoon when they went out together. Outnumbered and overpowered, they could have just taken her right from his hands. The thought had his chest pumping again, his hands turn to fists, so tightly he could feel his fingernails press into his palms painfully. As if he could feel her being taken from him.

Rick watched him cautiously, trying to understand what was going through his head, why he looked so sick with himself. He looked more afraid than he did when he thought he was about to take a hit.  
"Forget it. Your right" he quietly chocked out. Rick seemed to instantly know where his mind had wondered to.  
"Daryl, I didn't mean-" was all Rick managed to say as he reached to console him. He pushed Rick back as he turned away from the argument. Unable to look at Rick as he cowered away from his touch.

He flung the hanging sheets back to see Carol sitting on the edge of the bunk, a fresh wave of guilt washed over him as he took her in. He knew she had heard everything, that he had woken her while he was busy being a jackass.

His shoulders dropped and the rage faded instantly, burying itself under the regret and shame.  
"M'sorry" he mumbled as he tried to stiffen his trembling jaw, dropping his gaze.

He wanted to look away from her completely, but he couldn't take his eyes off how calm she looked. Even after hearing all that.

Carol tilted her head to the spot beside her, silently asking him to sit down.

He didn't want to.

He could still feel his whole body jerking from the adrenaline that was pumping in his veins, as if he was still waiting to attack something.

"Daryl?" she spoke softly but the sound filled the cell and snapped his eyes back to hers. He let out a heavy breath and nodded as his hand ran nervously across his stomach, trying to wipe the sweat from his hands.

He chewed at his lip and lowered himself onto the bunk, grabbing onto the frame to ease himself down slowly. Wondering why she put her hand on his lower back as he did.

Carols hands slid from his back as he turned and eyed her cautiously, still hearing his shaky aggressive breaths. He wanted to apologize again, but she didn't wait for him to settle himself in front of her, she swiftly reached out and placed her hands on the side of his face. He couldn't help himself. The simple touch forced his eyes to closed and had his body slouching forward, as her soft warms hand moved over his cheek.  
She held him there until the vicious breaths had stopped and his heart slowed.

She didn't look dazed, lost or even tired anymore. She looked at him, like she was there with him. In the cell.

"You know it's not true. You know It" Carol whispered slowly as she ran her finger through his hair. He instantly nodded, hoping she didn't notice the robotic jerk of his head.

He didn't believe it for a second, but he just wanted her to stop before she started.

Stop defending him.

Stop worrying about him.

Why couldn't he have just kept his mouth shut?

He wondered if she could feel the crease forming across his temple, but was sure she did when he felt her hands slide from his hair to his neck. They moved over him, kneading the muscles in his shoulders, slowly easing something that was tightened inside of him.

She had done this exact thing a hundred times before, it always had sent a warm shiver down his spine. Before all of this happened, he had wondered if she knew just how much the small gesture comforted him. But he didn't have to wonder anymore. He knew better now.

She continued the movement over and over until every tight and knotted muscle in his body had untangled and loosed, just as they always had, whenever they found themselves with a minute alone.  
"It's not your fault" she whispered lightly urging him to believe her. A sick feeling emerged in his stomach as she spoke and his eyes flew open.

"Don't" mumbled, his voice dry and rough.

Carol slowly pulled him back until their eyes met, forcing herself to keep her eyes locked on his  
"Rick's right, there all gone and- and nothing happened"

He couldn't help himself but pull away from her, exposing the tortured expression that covered his face.

He looked her in the eyes as he shook his head angrily. He suddenly let out a hard breath, as he took her forearms lightly in his hands.  
"This is nothing?" He questioned as he pulled his eyes off the bruises and cuts to look back to her.

"It just wasn't easy getting away. And that's all these are" She explained firmly, keeping her now, glassy red eyes focused on his He as he harshly bit into his lip, eyeing her.  
Examining her.  
Studying her.  
He tried to believe it in his gut, tried to jam the information in. But instead he could hear something in her voice that stung and burnt his chest.

He couldn't stop thinking about her with Ed. He'd seen her back at the quarry. Jaqui, Lori and Andrea had all questioned her when they seen the bruises that Ed had left on her and Carol always brushed them off. She always answered them with _it's nothing, I'm fine, please don't worry about it._ That was how Carol had learned to survive.

But all of those times, no matter what Carol had promised, it was never nothing. She was hurt, she afraid and in amongst that she was determined to deal with everything in her own way. Even though her way didn't work. In the end, all she ever achieved was being able to sweep it under the rug. This kept Ed happy and if Ed was happy then Carol could prolong the time between him beating her.

He could feel it coming off her in waves, something wasn't right. He didn't know why she was lying. And he didn't even really know what it was she was lying about or what it was she was trying to cover up. But he had seen that look in her eyes before. Even though he wished that he would never see it again. She was afraid and hurt, and in amongst that, she was was determined to handle this alone.

"Why ya doin this Carol?" he mumbled without thinking, so low he wasn't sure she able to understand him.

He could see she was trying to make him feel better, trying to label the marks as minor. Things that should just be forgotten. She was good at it, she'd had the practice. But it didn't work like that for him, it never had. The bruises might as well have been branded into her skin. The marks were like her tracks on the ground outside the prison. Every detail of them had been embedded into his mind.

The memories he had of every minute she was missing would be added to the rest of the memories that haunted him. And so, they should men had taken her, she was gone for days and when he found her she was out there, alone in the woods, covered in blood and bruises.  
That happened.  
Even if she wanted to ignore it and dumb it down. He couldn't forget.

Maybe she was telling the truth. Maybe things never got as bad as he thought. Maybe. But there was something in his gut telling him that there was more to it. There was something in her eyes that was screaming for help, no matter how much she denied it.

He forced himself to push his lip out from between his teeth as he nodded to himself.  
"That simple ha, they took you. You killed em all and left" He asked, his sarcastic tone breaking through, but it was met by Carol's firm nod in agreement.

"I'm fine, they didn't hurt me. Not like you think" she added trying to enforce the information, his brow scrunching as she spoke.  
"But they hurt ya" he argued. He wanted her mad, he didn't know why. He did know that he didn't want to live in the dream world anymore, it wouldn't work. It was too dangerous, he had proven that. He wanted her to acknowledge what happened.

She took his face in her hands and he felt her palms become firm on his skin, "There's no threat for you to chase. Their dead Daryl, I killed them" Her voice raised higher then he had heard it since her return. She had intended to sound firm and strong, but he could hear the desperation in her tone, he could hear the tremor running through each word as she forced them out.  
He slowly and carefully dropped his open hand to her thighs feeling his eyes burn as she spoke.

Before he could respond, she was pulling herself steadily onto his lap.

She didn't make uncomfortable, strained movements. She didn't even look like she was going to lose it, or have a breakdown like he had been waiting for. It scared him that she could just put all of that away, that she could look at him and tell him to stop being angry.

Like it was a real possibility.

He watched her relax into him, feeling the weight of her cover his legs and chest.

And he knew she was trying to distract him, because as much as he could read her face, she could read his. Her closeness had always been something of a sedative to him and Carol knew that. She had that over him. She could calm him down in minutes, simply by being near him. And to a degree it was working right now. He didn't want to move, he didn't want anything right now but to keep her here with him and to feel her close to him.

But it didn't stop his head from considering everything that had happened.

He couldn't stop thinking about how small she was as he curled his arms around her.

She felt fragile. Breakable.

He wanted to believe she was in control, that she was always just making her ways home. Nothing more.

But it was just too much, he couldn't bring himself to believe her. He knew her inside and out. He knew her tones, her expressions, her movements, he knew enough to know she was lying to him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

He knew he had fallen asleep with her.

She had insisted on sleeping with him and he hadn't needed much convincing. He had brought her with him, down onto the mattress on the floor, wanting to avoid the dip in the bunk that had always had them firmly pressed together.

He'd laid on his back with his legs hanging off the sides, on the cold concrete floor. He had wanted to give her space, so he didn't hurt her. That was the point of bringing her down here. But she didn't stop shifting in her sleep. Eventually she was on her side again, pressed into him. Her leg wrapped over him, her hand in his shirt, as it always was, seeking out the familiar place in the centre of his chest where she always placed it. The position seemed to bring back the false sense of security they created and he couldn't help himself but close his eyes and let it wash over him.

The heat of the long day before, left the prison block and he felt the cold morning air hit him hard. He reached out for her in a sleepy daze, wanting to pull her close and absorb her warmth. He thought about moving near her and resting his chin on her shoulder like he used too. He wanted to press his lips into her neck and leave them there. But as he reached out he only found more of the cold stiff mattress.

Before he had fully woken up, he'd already come up with a hundred reasons why she wouldn't still be next to him. Simple things like going to the bathroom or changing her clothes. She had been cooped up long enough, that maybe she just wanted to stretch her legs.

He slipped his shoes on and decided to follow her and make sure she was ok, maybe get her something to eat if she wasn't already doing that.

He stood to his feet and stretched out, as the bright colour in the unusual place caught his eye.

He felt his chest ache when he noticed the yellow piece of paper, lying where the bag of guns had been. He choked out a sound when the immediate realisation hit him.  
He grabbed the piece of paper and stuffed it into his pocket before he ran out of the cell. He didn't need to read it to know exactly where she had gone.

Carol had been listening to the whole conversation he had with Rick. Even the parts he had dismissed. Specifically, the parts about walkers filling the driveway and not being able to get the last car in.

* * *

He watched her pause in the dim light of the morning sun. She heard his heavy steps kicks at the rocks and dirt as he approached her quickly. He tried to take his mind of the pain, as he forced himself to move faster through the gap in the fence. Grateful he got to her before she left.

She turned to look at him, and he had a million things he wanted to say. Most of them were not very nice. But instead he had to carefully let himself fall forward, leaning into his knees awkwardly, struggling to catch his breath.

He fought the urge to yell as lifted his head up, but continued to heave in burning breaths of the cold morning air, unable to stop himself from glaring at her.

"You said they were dead" he accused, forcing the words through his dry throat as he dragged himself back upright.

"I have to check something" she spoke calmly.  
He narrowed his eyes at her.  
He wondered if she was losing her mind.  
Was this her way of having a break down? Running off and getting killed.

"I'll be fine" she added firmly.

He scoffed instantly and shook his head, he couldn't stop himself from being angry at her, he was furious that she would willingly leave him after what had just happened.

"Fine. I'm comin then" he snapped out firmly folding his arms across his chest.

"No" Carol said softly, turning back towards the car, as if she expected him to just accept it.

"You're not goin alone. It's not happening." He barked with far to much aggression in his tone. He took a deep breath and tried to reign in his temper, before he continued.

"Just let me get my crossbow and-"

Before he finished trying to reason with her she swung around, her eyebrow raised as she spoke.

"Seriously?" she laughed out, though there was no humour in the sound. His brow scrunched at her and suddenly expression softened, as she realised he had no idea what she was talking about.

She took a step forward and glanced at his chest before looking back to him, "I know your hurt. Your worse off then I am. Stay here."

He suddenly felt exposed and uncomfortable. And he didn't know why. She went to continue but he didn't give her a chance. He stormed past her, hanging his head to keep his eyes fixed on the ground.

"Fine. We'll leave the fuckin crossbow" he mumbled as he got into the passenger seat of the car, slamming the door shut behind him, so hard that it made Carol flinch.

* * *

"This is my favourite part" he said turning his body towards her. He leaned his side into the seat, straightening the crumpled scrap of paper out.

"_I will be back __in two days__. Don't worry._"He spat out sarcastically glaring at it for a minute longer before scrunching it into a ball and throwing to his feet.

"Fuckin seriously, Carol?" he snapped.

She didn't answer, she just drove and kept her eyes fixed on the road, unaffected by his irritation with her.

"I just didn't think you were up for it. That's all" she said apologetically, but her tone showed she was still defending her decision.

He found himself forcing in deep breaths, as he always had before the fighting started.

His now quiet reaction to being angry with her, was one he had to work on carefully. But it was never graceful. His teeth would grind, stopping him from talking. He always had to look away from her and he had to make himself remember exactly what kind of reaction he would conjure form her if snapped.

He had to do this. He had to learn to control his shit.

The other option was dealing with the way she looked at him when his voice raised to high or he stepped towards her to fast.

Always wondering if in those moments he reminded her of Ed. That's what forced him to try harder.

His desperation not to be just another asshole in her life seem to overpower everything.  
He felt sick at the thought of resembling someone who got off on being a power tripping prick. Someone that picked at her over stupid shit, in some attempt to control her.

He knew how that felt and he wanted to do better for her than that. He wanted to prove to himself he can look after someone without making a mess.

So he let his teeth scrape together until the anger subsided and his jaw slowly loosened.

He released a steady breath as he looked back over at her and saw her watching him out of the corner of his eye, he reached over to rest his hand on her thigh, letting her know that he was sorry and would stop.

He was still angry, but he didn't hate her and he didn't want her to ever feel like he did.

He closed his hand over her leg, rubbing it gently, making her glance in his direction before her eyes darted back to road. She didn't respond to his touch like she usually did. She didn't let it weaken her or calm her. He could see her fighting that urge to give into it.

"How long? He said quietly defeated.

"We won't be there until tomorrow night. Late"

"What do you need to check?" he asked carefully, wanting to get something out of her that made sense.

"Just wanna make sure everything went to plan, it won't take long" she forced herself to sound casual but he could hear the concern breaking through.

He wished she would just admit that whatever they were checking was important to her, that her worry was real and it was consuming her, but she fought that too.

The tough demeanour she was wearing like a mask was frustrating, but he decided he wasn't going to push her right now. She must have wanted to hang onto that for as long as she could. So, he just sat back and let her drive. Not pressing her vague details of the trip any further.

* * *

They had been on the road all day when he began insisting she let him take over driving but she just ignored him, never responding with anything more than an eye roll.

He watched her in silence for hours, unable to take his eyes off her. He didn't understand why she was insisting on pretending so be so relaxed. Especially when he knew she was nervous and on edge. And he didn't know why it was annoying him so much. He didn't understand why the casual feel she was pushing for, was making him so uncomfortable. It was like they were just popping out to the store or something. The feeling was so strong that when it disappeared from the car he felt a chill hit him harshly and his blood run cold. Her facade crumbled in the same moment that she suddenly let out a gasp.

She didn't explain herself as they reached a crossroads. Her foot slammed down on the brakes so hard that he had to brace the dash before he slammed his head into it.  
"You alright?" he questioned, scanning his eyes over her, while hers starred down the road, wide and alarmed.

"What?" he asked quietly as he turned to look ahead. He thought he would be able to see something that made her uneasy, but there was nothing.

It was just the usual scattered cars that were broken down on every road.

"Everything all right? What's going on" he asked looking back to her, as she became horribly still.

Carol kept her eyes on the road, not responding to him as he continued to ask her why they'd stopped, becoming more and more worried as her breathing accelerated so much that he could hear the sound taking over small space of the car.

He could see her eyes starting to turn red, he was sure she had spotted someone in danger, someone he couldn't see.

But she was too stunned to respond to him.

Without any sign of her intentions, she suddenly sprung into action. He reached out and tried to stop her as she threw herself from the car, but he hadn't been quick enough and he still didn't understand what was going on.

"Carol, just fuckin wait" He demanded growing more confused as he watched her stumble forward. Leaving him to grab the gun she had left behind.

He followed her every step. He darted around the broken cars and the remains of walkers, that were scraped along the road, while calling her name and begging her to stop.

Even in his haste to catch up with her he couldn't miss how urgently she moved, how desperate she looked as she approached the dusty red car, only stopping when they stirred the walker that was stuck inside.

The pained sound that Carol released, as the sight froze her in her steps, made it clear that she knew the girl. He knew this was what they were out here for, but it wasn't meant to go this way.

He knew she wasn't thinking as she ran at the car. She didn't have a weapon in her hands and she wasn't prepared. Her own grief had clouded everything.

He launched himself forward to catch up to her, to wrap his arms around her waist to stop her as her hands began to reach for the door handle. He squeezed her tightly no matter how much she tried to break free. The pain in his back screaming in protest every time she lunged her body forward.

He could hear her screaming _No_, in between the cries. He could feel her shaking and her heart pounding into his chest.

She was still covering her mouth, but it didn't stop the sound of her sobs from filling the empty road, dragging him back to that day. Even the scent of the air changed. Suddenly he could smell the fields again, smell the rotting flesh burst into the warm breeze as the barn doors were pulled open.

He could feel her burning body, sweating and clinging to his shirt. He remembered her feeling hot like this. Like the agony inside of her was turned into flames, and that heat burst from every pour of her skin until he felt like he had his arms wrapped around fire. He had to struggle to hold her in place on the firm rocky ground. Keeping her from her own daughter. Her daughter that seemed to be gravitating towards her, just like this girl was now.

Its gaze seemed to be locked on Carol and he knew she would have seen it too. But in that moment, she seen the Walkers haste and determination as something else. He had always hated how they looked at you like they wanted you, needed you. The thirst the walkers had was cruel and deceptive, especially if you knew them before. You could go blind for a minute and still see them as they were, instead of a monster that wants nothing more then to tear you apart.

Carol knew all to well that the walkers were dangerous, but it didn't stop her from throwing herself at them. A part of her wanted to pull the girl into her arms and hold her. And he found himself wondering what would have happened to her if he hadn't of been their both times to hold her down.

He could still feel her pulling against him hysterically as he grabbed her hips harshly and swung her around. In an instant, she felt even more fragile in his arms and it horrified him. He stepped back swiftly dragging her with him, watching as the walker scratched at the glass, yearning to get to them. He used one of his arms to cover her face and shield her from being able to see it.

He could feel her fingernails through his shirt, running down his back as she finally stopped fighting him. Her body stiffened in his arms and her crying stopped.  
She had flipped a switch in her mind. The thing that made her keep going.

Her hands swiftly slid from his back to his chest lightly pushing herself of him. He let his hands fall to her waist, astounded with how she was snapping out of the daze she was in. But he didn't recognise the crease set in her brow or how dark her eyes had suddenly become.

She nodded over his shoulder in the direction of the forest line, it took him a few second to react, still fixed on the emotionless expression covering her face.But he could hear it, he knew it was there.

She nudged him, forcing him to look over his shoulder to see the walker approaching the road. He stepped in its direction but Carol's hands clutched at his chest, stopping him,

"I'll get him" she said meeting his concerned gaze, no trace of the tears that covered her cheeks and filled her eyes, only seconds ago. He shook his head, confused with her.

"No. I will." He said softly pulling his knife out and gripping it tightly.

"No." Carol said firmly as her hand covered his and squeezed it, tighter then he thought she was capable of right now. His eyes locked back on hers when the cold tone was released. "I'll get him"

He frozen taking in her broken expression, it was the one he had expected her to wake up with days ago.

She took a deep breath and looked over her shoulder back to the trapped walker, taking in the sight once more. When she turned back she avoided looking at him, but he could see her rage growing quickly and suffocating her with it.

"You get Abigail" she said coldly steeping past him. He froze, looking over at the girl at the mention of her name, but his gaze quickly flew back to Carol.

He watched her pull the knife from her belt without delay or hesitation. He watched her grip it and ready it securely in her fingers with anticipation. The walker was short and scrawny and He knew she could take him down easily, but it didn't stop him from watching how quickly she moved at him. Like she couldn't get to him fast enough.

Even when she took the pickaxe to Ed she didn't look like this, she definitely didn't move like this. She always panicked and hesitated. She had always stepped back and let them come to her, just so she had as much time as possible to prepare herself. He liked that, it was smart, like she always wanted to be at least two steps ahead. But right now she wanted to rip something to pieces.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

He watched Carol reach out and grab a hold of the walker's shirt to yank it roughly towards her.

He couldn't stop watching until the knife broke through the brittle skull with loud crack, sending a shiver down his spine.

The sound made him turn away as he heard her needlessly plunged the knife in once more before the body dropped to the ground with a hard thud.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes to the knife in his own hand as he walked back across the road. He could hear Carol behind him and he was sure she had just kicked the walkers before silently making her way back to him.

He found himself flinching as the girl slammed her face into the glass, trying to reach him as he got closer. He forced himself not look back at Carol, but he could feel her eyes watching every move he made.

He wished he didn't know the girls name. Or that Carol wasn't right fucking behind him, moving making her way back to his side.

But neither of those wishes had any chances of being granted.

He hung his head and opened the door quickly, expecting her to fall forward out of the car. He took a quick step back and realised she had her seat-belt still hooked around her waist.

He moved himself back in front of her. The girls piercing green eyes looked into his, as he reached out to grab a hold of her shoulder. Now that he was closer he could see just how young she was. She was wearing a worn out Led Zeppelin shirt and black jeans with rips in the knees. She was maybe sixteen or seventeen, but he doubted she was any older then that.

He steadied her and pushed the knife into a spot above her ear quickly, letting his eyes close as he felt it push through.

The footsteps stopped behind him, faltering as the the girl's body fell forward.

He moved his hand from her shoulder to her back, settling her limp body into the driver's seat with care.

He heard Carol's feet move on the gravel towards him as he slid his hand from the kids back. That was when he felt it. He stood up looking at his hand when carol suddenly reached to him, examining the blood smudged over his palm. Carols eyes met his for a second before she pushed past him.

He had barley taken his eyes of the red blotches when carol nudged him out of the way. He watched her urgently sit herself on the edge of the driver's seat, next to the kid.

Carol's hands braced the girl's skinny arms to pull the tiny body into her chest. She used one hand to hold the girl in place, letting her linger there for a moment before dragging the neckline of the kid's shirt down.

He knelt next to her as Carol pulled at the material carefully, until the girls shoulder blade was exposed. It revealed a bloody gunshot wound, making Carol bite her lip and shake her head. He reached out and placed his hand on her leg, in hopes the touch would ply her eyes of the wound that had killed the girl.

He wrapped his fingers around her thigh squeezing lightly, making Carol press her lips firmly together while she slowly moved the girl back up against the seat.

He couldn't see any emotion in Carol's expression as she glided her fingers over the girl's loose black shirt, fidgeting with it until it was carefully pulled back into place.

"Caro-",

"The glove-box. Can you?" she said quickly cutting him off. Her voice was calm and she never took her eyes off the kid as she spoke. He was compelled to do as she asked. He still didn't fully understand what was going on and he needed to do what he could to help her.

He moved from her side, watching as her fingers started tucking Abigail's curls behind her ears and wiping some dirt from the girls cheek with her thumb.

He felt a sting emerge in his throat as he dropped himself through the passenger door. He quickly began looking over his shoulder out of habit, to make sure there was nothing coming up behind them. The car seemed pretty much empty and well intact, nothing but some dirt and mud smudged over the seats, but it wasn't an odd thing to see these days.

He turned back and watched her out of the corner of his eye as he clicked open the glove box, letting the door drop open.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, staring at the scattered belongings.

Her knife, her gun, her watch lay alone in the empty compartment. He let out the breath he had been holding, before he finally reached out and took them all in his hands.

He only held them for a second before she stretched her arm out over the body between them and took back her knife.

He still couldn't move. His mind raced trying to piece everything together but nothing fit.

His eyes followed her hands. She slipped her fingers through the loops of the handle and secured the knife back onto the belt of her pants before reaching back over and taking the gun and watch.

"You give all this to her?" He questioned as his mind tried to piece together the little information he had.

Her eyes finally left the kid, looking over to him, revealing nothing of the pain he knew was stirring inside of her.

"No" she said simply her eyes drifting over his shoulder.

Her voice was still so smooth and it left him sitting in the car trying to work through his muddled thoughts as she stood up.

"It was already here", she added as she closed the door quietly.

He looked around and realised where he was. He turned to the backseat, looking down at the muddy markings again, knowing now that they were hers. He wasn't able to take his eyes of them as he heard her footsteps, moving away from the car.

He got out of the car quicker than he needed to, making him stumble backwards as the throbbing in his shoulder began overpowering him. He steadied himself on his feet and turned to follow her, just in time to see her toss the watch to the ground without a second thought.

There didn't seem to be any feeling behind the action. She threw it aside as if it was just in the way, taking up space in her hands that she needed to check the gun.

He looked at the watch on the ground as he made his way over to her, hearing the familiar clicks and snaps of her gun as she checked it over. His presence seemed to unsettle her and he didn't know why, or what he was supposed to do. He wanted to comfort her, but he could tell she didn't want it from him. The heavy air around him, gave him the feeling that she didn't want him there at all.

He rubbed his arm as he spoke, letting the sweat get dragged back and forth on his skin. "Is this what you wanted to check? See if the kid made it?" He spoke to her carefully as her head raised taking him in.

Her face blank and cold and her eyes darted from the car to him, as if she was trying to understand what he was saying.

"It was. Now, it's something else" She answered quietly as she turned and walked off, her gaze still focused on the weapon. She didn't give him a chance to respond to the determination flaring in her eyes, which had him rubbing his arm even harder.

He followed desperately trying to decipher her movements, they were familiar. But he had never seen her like this.

He had looked at her the same way she just looked at him. He'd seen that expression in the mirror, staring back at him.

He remembered leaving her alone behind him, because he didn't want to be near her or anyone else.

He had heard her follow him, stumbling and tripping through the forest after him. But he didn't care, he was to drained and bitter to worry about her or anything. All he wanted to do then was-…

"Carol. Stop!"

He didn't mean to growl the words out, but at least the sound was enough to make her stop.

She shook the gun at her side as he placed his hand on her shoulder. He turned her back to face him, bending his knees to line her eyes up with his.

Her eyes were fixed on his chest no matter how close he pulled her, moving his hand onto her hip to hold her in place. It was what he was expecting, what she had been doing since she woke up in the cell.

"You said-" He stopped and starred at her, unable to finish his thought.

"I lied" she said narrowing her brow and finally lifting her eyes to meet his.

He hadn't even realised how much of the rage had subsided just by being with her over the past few days. Until it came rushing back to the surface.

He let his head drop "let's go then", was all he managed before she turned from him and led the way back to the car.

He wondered if it was the hot air that sat stale around them, maybe that's why he couldn't breathe. She wanted him here now, but only if he was like this. Full of rage and a burning desire to feel something dying in his hands.

She was going to let them live, all of them…as long as the kid survived. But now that deal she had made with herself was done.

He drove down the road as fast as he could, wanting to reach them as soon as possible. He knew where ever they were headed was far away. She had said as much. But it didn't stop him and she never said anything more than "left here, right there"

* * *

"There, Daryl. Slow down" It had been hours without a sound and her voice almost made him jump.

He did as she asked, looking over at her as she searched the side of the road again. He could have sworn he felt his heart hitting the sides of his chest, just wondering what the fuck it was she had seen this time.

"There" she pointed to the side of the road, he saw nothing but the faint remains of a dried trail covered in broken branches and overgrown bushes. He brought the car to a stop and looked over at her wanting more information.

"Where are we?" he looked as far down the track as he could, but could see nothing through the trees. He knew a car hadn't gone down the trail for months, maybe more.

"It's safe. Go." He gave her a small nod and turned the car off the road into the woods following the trail as the sun began to set.

It didn't take long before they reached a burnt-out house. He could tell she still didn't want to talk, he could tell her head was too busy. Sorting through something… times, events, things she did, things she didn't. So, he stayed quiet and he hoped that eventually she would let him in on it.

He stopped outside the house leaving the engine going while they both looked around for danger. He knew she could see the walkers coming through the woods towards them, but she wasn't fazed by them.

"That house looks like it's ready to collapse" he said watching the walkers getting closer, wondering what the next move was.

"Hang on". She didn't wait for him to say anything, she just jumped from the car and ran over to the garage door.

She opened it quickly and he had to tighten his hands on the steering wheel when she didn't even take a minute to check before swinging the door open. He muttered a few more curse words than needed under his breath and drove the car into garage.

She hadn't even had a chance to pull the garage door down when stopped the car and got out. He was so fueled he wasn't thinking straight. Wasn't asking himself the right questions. All he wanted was to know is what she was thinking, twice in one day she had been reckless, hell the fact that she was out here to begin with made it three times.

He had every intention of asking her what was going through her head until his foot kicked the old empty water bottle across the cement.

He only had a second to look around the garage before she finished jerking the door down and taking away all the light in the room. But it was long enough to know that she had been here before. There were traces of her, and only her, all through the garage. Even as he looked down at his feet he could see the imprint left from her boots scattered all around him.

"You stayed here" it wasn't a question, more just him admitting to every sign he could see around them.

She didn't answer, she just walked past him as if he hadn't said anything. It was dark but she was still trying not to look at him as she moved around him, going out of her way to avoid any contact with him. Like she knew it would melt the rage in him.

He had felt it getting worse since being in the very car they had dragged her into. The images of the mud and dirt pressed into the fabric ran through his mind and he couldn't help but imagine her struggling to get away as they took her further and further away from their home.

She opened the car door and climbed into the backseat and began pushing the seats down flat. He got in the other side and began helping her. Once again, he got it wrong. He thought she was setting the car up to get some rest, until she flicked the light above their head on and began emptying her bag of weapons between them.

"We should make sure everything's ready" was all she said, her tone letting him know she didn't want to talk about it. But they were out here, and now he needed to know what happened.

His stilled body next to her was enough to make her stop and look at him. He didn't attempt to wipe the anger from his face or pretend he wasn't loosing it. He left it all out there for her to see.

"Start at the beginning" he growled out.

Her eyes darted up to meet his. He watched her hardened expression hold strong, but there was something in her eyes that gave in.

He wasn't mad at her and she knew that. But he also couldn't take any more of this. It would be different if they were at the prison, surrounded by wall and people who had their backs. She could take her time and he would have waited her out. She could have taken all the damn time she needed. But they weren't at the prison.

They were out here in the middle of nowhere, and he wanted to know exactly what happened and exactly what they were marching in to. He watched as she nodded to herself, knowing it was time.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

She refused to look at him as she went through the events of her abduction. There was no emotion behind a single word she said, but everything it all tore at him.

She told him about the man who had snuck up on her and how she had tried to get free, but they were just strong.

There were no fine details given about them taking her away from her home or how she obtained her injuries. She didn't tell him how she felt when they locked her away with the kid. She wouldn't even talk about Abigail.  
She finished by simply telling him that she and broken free, but shots had been taken and Abigail had been shot, but Carol didn't know it.

The sight of her made his head spin. He tried to sift through the different arguments he had, logical ones. Anything to get her to realise they shouldn't be out here. She shouldn't be out here. He felt a surge of panic rush over him at just how ill-equipped he was to handle this.

Her name scratched its way out of his throat and she instantly hummed in response, but she didn't stop moving.

He couldn't focus on her hands loading the guns, his eyes were still stuck jumping between the sweat forming on her brow or her lip trembling.

He needed her to be the calm and rational one, he relied on her to navigate him through this relationship, and show him how to fix things. Because he was so used to braking them.

He was never going to be good at this part and he needed to be. He needed to be really good at it right now or he was going to lose her. He knew she was hiding just beneath the surface of her hard had to be a way to reach her there.

"What were ya gonna say" was all he could manage. He spoke quietly but the cracking of his voice stung the silence and made her jump. Her features twisted for a second as she tried to decipher what he meant, but she was also trying to ignore him.

"What?" she murmured, her brow creasing, showing how much his tone had unsettled her, making her hands move even faster as she loaded each gun and checked the large supply of bullets.

His eyes drifted down to the endless shuffling, growing more frustrated with her, until he looked at her hands.

She slid one of the guns in front of him, silently assigning it to him when he covered her hands softly with his. The feeling of his hot skin hitting her cool sweaty palms, made her finally stop.

She didn't move an inch while his thumbs lightly grazed over her long thin fingers and up to her bruised and damaged wrists.

"That morning before-" he started, keeping his gaze locked on where they were joined.  
"Before everything happened, when we woke up. You were gonna say something to me"  
When he looked up he saw her eyes flash to his and he knew then that she remembered.  
He watched her mouth open before she shook her head to herself and looked back down at her hands in his.

"I just wanted to know what it was" he mumbled so quietly that he wondered if she heard. He watched the crease form in her brow and her jaw tighten.

She suddenly pulled her hands from his, leaving him stunned by the movement.

"I don't-….", she stuttered the words out as he looked up from his empty hands, in time to watch her mouth firmly close and her eyes look straight through him. Stuck in a memory that she had no intention of sharing with him. He saw the moment she tossed it aside, pushed it all away to look back to the guns.

"It doesn't matter" she said firmly as she shifted her body back.

"Tell me then" he argued, making her let out a heavy breathe as she looked up at him in annoyance.

Carol looked straight into his eyes for the first time since he found her and just for a second she gave in.  
She looked at him like she wanted to break down and tell him everything. Every bit of it. But she hadn't come this far to let him in her head. She was working full time to push aside all the emotions she had tangled up in this. Carol had a job to do and no one was getting in her way.

"The girl then? Abig-"

"Theirs three left" she spat out, cutting him off before he could finish the kids' name.

He didn't say anything as he slumped back into the car door, hoping if he was quiet she would keep talking. AT this point he didn't care what she said. He just wanted to hear her.

"Two of them are hurt. They'll most likely be in the cabin and the other should be on watch." She said while reaching over to get bags of supplies, that had been left in the car, in case people got caught while out on runs.

"We can just sneak in and take them down. One by one. They shouldn't have many bullets left, if any by now"

She sucked in a deep breath as she took the cap of the water bottle, "It will be easy".

Daryl nodded in agreement as he rubbed the back of his neck trying to ease the pain without her noticing.

"Sounds like we should be able to handle it" he added quietly, making sure again that he was a part of the plan and watching her bite her lip instead of answering him.

"We drive for another hour or so, then we go on foot. We'll leave in a few hours so we get there before light"

He hated knowing if the roles were reversed, she would have already gotten past any barrier he put up. She knew the right things to say and do.

He couldn't stop thinking about her following him through the woods, never stopping. No matter how cruel he was, how many times he had dismissed her, she never left. Not once. She knew exactly what to do. He was clueless.

She handed him a clean shirt and started going through the rest of the bag like he wasn't there.

The shirt looked like one of Tyreese's. He didn't have to ask why she handed it to him, it had been a long hot day and his shirt was still clinging to the sweat on him.

He undone his buttons, while she continued moving around him anxiously, keeping herself busy.

He shifted his body back into the middle of the flattened seats, stretching his legs out as he slipped his shirt of.

He unfolded the clean shirt in his hands slowly. He was enjoying the cool air on his skin when he suddenly heard her stop moving, and in the same moment her hands were on his back.

His head turned to the side as she moved behind him to get closer.

He didn't move as she ran her fingers lightly over his back, tracing over the injured shoulder blade. "This bruise is pretty bad" she said, concern filling her voice.

"Thought maybe I pulled something, tore somethin. Its fine" he said, relieved it was just a bruise.

"You fell hard." She ran her hands up to his neck and lightly rubbed at the tight muscles.

"I'm alright, was my own damn fault"

As much as he enjoyed the feel of her hands on him, he could feel her blaming herself for the bruises and he knew the fact that they were covering old scars didn't help.

It was his decisions that led to the bruise on his back. He didn't want to leave a trail of weapons if they were being followed. That was all him. He was the one who was too scared to drop everything, even after he fell he struggled through it.

He started slipping his arms through the shirt, trying to shrug her off. But her hands didn't move until the shirt was over his head. Her hands slowly slid pulled the shirt over his head and brought it down, lightly tugging at the fabric over his lower back and bringing her body back over to his side.

He couldn't remember the last time he felt too nervous to look at her. But he was right now. He was sure he'd see her thinking of ways to leave him behind, deciding that he was to hurt or that he was the one who had been through to much. That's just what Carol was like.

"We should get some sleep and get these lights off" he said turning to help her fix the blankets, before he reached up and flicked the light off without warning.

* * *

Daryl laid down, resting on his side trying to get comfortable while listening to Carol move next to him.

He couldn't see anything in the dark except the blaring white of Carol's singlet being revealed as she took her shirt off and put it aside.

He didn't know why his breathing grew unsteady while he watched the blur of white cotton drift down beside him. She wasn't close to him, but still a shiver still got sent ran through his spine and goose bumps flared over his skin.

He'd seen the sight a hundred times before.

Late at night after taking watch in the towers, she would sneak into the dark cell.

He would always wake up, no matter how quiet she tried to be. He was always dazed and half asleep, slipping between this dream before him and the other she had woken him from.

He could search her out in the dark cell, like right now, He could make out the curves of her shoulders or hips as she removed her clothes and climbed in next to him.

He always felt safe sleeping next to her. And after the life he had led, that meant something.

He wondered if it made her feel the same, if she found the same solace in the closeness, in knowing someone was there with you.

Daryl didn't know if it was the right or wrong thing to do, but he slid his body towards her until his body was pressed to her side. She suddenly stopped trying to get comfortable as his body found hers, making him chew his bottom lip anxiously.

He couldn't see anything in the dark, but he knew she could hear his deep rough breaths. His hand flexed open ready to slide over on to her, before he stopped himself. He didn't want to hurt her or make her uncomfortable and with that thought he got ready to move back.

Before he could slide away, Carol slowly rolled onto her side, making him freeze as she pressed her face and open palm onto his chest without any warning. He wondered if she was afraid, if she couldn't hide it anymore lying here in the dark. If the thought of falling asleep here again was too much for her.

He felt her hand close, grabbing his shirt as she nuzzled her tiny form into his and he thought about her being alone here, in the dark on the cold concrete floor, wondering if she would ever make it.

The idea of her being hurt and afraid made him drop his face into her hair, followed by his fingers that he started slowly moving through the short thick curls, back and forth until she finally fell asleep breathing into his chest.

There was no pretending that everything was ok, or how it was before, not here.

Not while she was gripping a fistful of his shirt even in her sleep, like this place had seeped into her subconscious.

* * *

He fell asleep for an hour or two, but woke when he heard a walker stumbling around outside.

It was far away and nothing they needed to worry about, but he couldn't stop listening to it. It drifted closer and he listened contently to it trip and stagger past. It made its way to the front yard tripping on the gravel in the driveway. It was almost a form of entertainment.

One of the sounds suddenly crawled into Carol's dreams causing her to fly up and out of his arms, looking around in the dark. Daryl turned the light on, wanting her to remember where she is before he ended up with her knife at his throat.

He watched her face carefully and said her name softly watching as her head snapped in the direction of the sound of the sounds outside.  
"Just a walker. Nothing ta' worry about" he assured her, trailing his fingers lightly over her back as he spoke.  
She let out a sigh, shaking her head and allowing her self to relax as she realised there was no danger. But only for a minute.

She was still half asleep as she started to get ready.

Her singlet was raised up, showing the hidden bruises and scratches on her stomach, along with her chest and arms. He couldn't stop himself from starring at them, from reaching out and lightly touching the marks on her stomach.

Her eyes snapped down, realising her shirt had ridden up.  
She wouldn't look at him as she pulled her shirt down and instantly started pulling her jacket on.

"Rick was right" he admitted, feeling uncomfortable over the fact that she was trying to hide everything away from him. This was what she was used to doing, being ashamed of what someone else did.

She stopped buttoning her jacket up for a second to look up at him, "No he wasn't" she said firmly as she kept getting dressed.

"Shouldn't have had ya out there"

"I'd been going out there for months before I followed you that day." She confessed fidgeting with her jacket as she spoke. He was sure confusion was covering his face as she swung the door open.

She was ready to leave when suddenly paused and looked up at him, searching his eyes as she spoke,

"That fight you had with him was because of me. I asked Rick to find a way to make sure you didn't run off, I asked him to watch you, to do anything he had to.

I told him that everyone that took me was dead. I didn't want you going out and getting hurt for nothing."

_Nothing? _  
The word stung.  
Would it really have been nothing. If he took her back home right now, then came back here and killed them himself, would it be for nothing?

They took her, hurt her, scared her - was all of that nothing?

He wanted to ask what else he was missing, but she quickly sprung out of the car.

She was ready to start this.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Every minute since they left the prison he had tried to hang on and make rational decisions, that would keep her safe. But he could feel himself slipping with her, no matter how hard he tried to keep a clear head.

His priorities seem to change with each passing hour. Somehow even taking her home had changed. Now he was driving to a cabin in the middle of the night.  
He realised he never wanted to kill anyone before, not really. Not like this. In the past he'd thought it was the right thing to do, sometimes people needed to die to keep other people safe. He'd even thought that some people needed to die because there was no coming back from the shit they had done.  
But he'd never craved it like he did right now.

He had been driven by anger and rage before, but it had all been a cover. It was something he had used, to shield the hurt. This was different. It felt different.

Once he had flicked the light on and seen the damage they had done to her, it was over. He couldn't bring himself to do the right thing anymore. Like trying to get her home, so he could handle this alone. He could justify it one way or another but it would all be a lie. He didn't want to loose his shot. He didn't want to waste anymore time. There was just to much urgency in him.

Before he'd fallen asleep he just assumed he would at least keep trying, until there was no hope left. But that too had slipped away with all his rational thoughts and logical reasoning. But just because he was blood thirsty and possibly loosing his mind, didn't mean he was going to let this unfold the way Carol was planning.

He glanced over at her as often as he could, the familiar racing thought returning –  
_W__hat do__I do__? __  
__W__hat do I do_?

But time it was about finding a way to leave her out of it.

"There" she said pointing to the side of the road, snapping him out of his train of thought.

"You sure?"

All he could see a truck in a ditch, pushing him look around for its owner.

"Pull over" she answered quickly, letting the space around them grow silent again.

As soon as the car had stopped she went back to avoiding his eyes. She took one last deep breath before she quickly pounced from the car.

He watched her standing next to the open door, shoving her gun in her waistband, taking another firmly in her hands, before he followed her lead.

He watched her leave the bags and everything else behind, everything but her weapons and the small flashlight. He paused looking at the stash of weapons she left behind and she seemed to feel his eyes on her.

She turned in the darkness and nodded to him. "It's ok" she firmly assured him.

He dragged his lower lip through his teeth and nodded back. He had to trust her, he had to believe she knew what she was doing.

He followed her over to the abandoned car, searching for any signs of danger as he moved.

As they approached, Carol turned the flashlight on and looked through the windows. For the first time since this all happened she smiled, it swept across her face as she looked in the abandoned car.

The smile wasn't one he had ever seen before, it had a dark edge to it, one that he never knew her soft face was capable of creating.

The truck had been ransacked, suitcases were emptied everywhere and he could see a trail of clothes and other crap leading away from the car.

"What is it?" he asked, wondering what had brought on the evil grin.

"I didn't leave it like this. They've been scavenging."

It was such a slight change to her features, that only he would have noticed. He could see she looked pleased with herself, just for a moment.

She touched his arm slightly, leading him towards the woods, in the direction of the scattered belongings. They walked around the truck and the flashlight glowed on three big empty drums, lying by the car. Suddenly everything started to make more sense.

"Did you know the car was gonna run out of gas?"

She looked back at him and nodded, before she continued walking ahead of him.

"I heard them talking about it. They only had two cars. One was full and one was running low, I knew it wouldn't get me far"

"Those drums on the ground, was that their water supply?"

He noticed her lip curve slightly before she nodded again. "I filled up a bottle I found, then poured the rest on the ground. Then I slashed the tires"

His steps faltered for a second and something rushed over him. She hadn't just taken their weapons, she had ruined their supplies. She had taken away any chance they had of getting out of here alive.

"It was smart" he said looking around again.

These weren't the actions of someone in a hysterical panic. She had stayed two steps ahead of them. She knew they didn't have any gas, but she knew they could have found some. But she didn't leave them with the option. He was impressed by her and he was proud of her.

He knew they were close, by the careful step she took beside him. She had flicked the torch of, leaving them to walk in the dark.

He could hear a few walkers wondering around, but they were drowned out by the clear sounds of a person pacing nearby.

She reached out and took his hand and he followed her, creeping closer in the direction of the shuffling feet.

He could only just make out the man standing in front of the cabin. Candle light glowed through the windows, giving him a clear enough view, he knew he could take him out from here.

He squeezed the gun tightly, and looked to her. He wanted to let her know he could take the shot, when she suddenly moved from his side.

"Wait here"

"What?" he spat out as she ran off.

_There was no way in hell._

He stalked behind her, covering her. Wondering what the fuck she was doing. Then realizing this was her plan, it was the fucking same as his. She had planned to ditch him all along.

When she got closer to the cabin and leaned into a tree, readying herself to act.

"Carol!"

He growled her name repeatedly as he got closer to her, but she didn't listen. He watched her line the man up and pull the trigger without a second thought.

The man's lifeless body dropped to the ground, as he caught up to her and wrapped his hands around her waist, spinning her around to face him.

"What are you doing, I had him" he growled, leaning down to level his eyes with hers.

She pushed him and took a step back so hard that he stumbled back a step, her eyes filled with just as much fire as his were right now.

"I don't want you to" she snapped through he teeth.

"I can do this myself" she added coldly, but he didn't buy it.

"Yeah you probably can" he agreed with her, nodding as he spoke.

"But ya not going to. This isn't happening. You shouldn't be here."

He placed his hand on her lower back as he forcefully whispered to her and tried to lead her away.

"Stop." She demanded moving away from him again.

"You haven't been listening, you just want to blame yourself, but this isn't your fault. It's mine. Can't you see that I should have been ready for this?"

He felt really fucking stupid.

She wasn't talking about getting taken, getting hurt or almost being raped. That's what it was about for him, but that's not what this was about for her.

It was about what happened after.

This was about the kid. The kid she knew for only hours, but was ready to die for.

And ultimately, this whole thing was about Ed and Sophia. But he was too focused on his own shit to notice. But it didn't matter now. They were here now.

As the sun began to rise he could see fresh graves by the house, dried blood on the ground, sprayed on the tress, smeared on the door of the cabin.

She had done enough. He wasn't going to just let her keep going, to punish herself. She didn't deserve it.

He thought to himself about the next move, chewing his lip and squeezing his gun.

"Fine" he said feigning defeat.

She seemed to relax as he apparently gave in, to let her have her way.

"Let me check, ok? You gotta fo this, I get. I just wanna make it's safe then- you can do what ya gotta do"

She looked over his shoulder and agreed. Thinking he was clearing the way for her.

He let his hand run down her arm, felt his fingers tangle into hers before he let them go and left her side.

He snuck up past the dead body on the ground and peaked through a crack in the curtains, he couldn't see much, but he could make out a body the couch.

He looked back into the forest, to see her in the same spot he had left her. Noticing she was distracted by a walker, he waited for her to take her eyes off him to kill it. This was his shot and he was going to take it.

This was the right thing to do, even if she hated him for it.

He sucked in a deep breath and moved quickly and quietly up the stairs to the front door, taking the dried bloody handle and slowly twisting it.

He could hear her behind him but it didn't matter, she was too far away to stop him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

He opened the door to see the man was asleep in front of him. He could feel the sweat forming on his brow and all his muscles tighten in anticipation.  
Every bit of him burnt with a rage he never knew existed, or thought one person could contain without exploding. He wanted to launch himself forward and start beating the life out of him with his bare hands. He wanted to unleash this feeling inside of him.

The man was huge. He was sleeping soundly, wearing a tattered flannel shirt, covered in dirt and dried blood.

Daryl could hear a ringing in his ears, he wanted to release everything that he had on to this man, but he knew he didn't have the time and this wasn't about him.  
He didn't wake as Daryl made his way across the room, not until he had the gun pressed firmly to his temple.

The man's eyes sprung open in time to look at Daryl before they darted across the room to Carol, seeing her make her way through the front door.

He pulled the trigger and closed his eyes as the blood splashed up onto his face. Unlike Carol he didn't have a silencer and he was happy about that, especially when he heard the fearful sound whistle through the room.

"Mark?"

He heard the man's voice yell from behind the partially closed door and he instantly stormed over.

He felt Carol pull at him, trying to stop him as he kicked the door open. The man lay in the bed with his leg wrapped up in bloody rags, with nothing but a knife in his hand. Daryl took in the sight, with his gun raised, ready to shoot.

Carol pushed him aside and Daryl watched the man's face twist when he saw Carol. The man lifted his body up, gripping his injured thigh.

It was easy to tell that the prick was stunned.

The prick growled, searching her body up and down in disbelief as if a ghost had just walked through the door.

"You, fucking bitch. I'm gonna-"

Before the man could finish Daryl stepped forward, ready to launch, until he felt her pulling him back with every ounce of strength she had.

"Dam it Daryl stop. Just stop", He turned to look at her finding the tears that she had been struggling to hold back all this time, were finally winning in their battle against her. They spilled onto her cheeks and the sight of them paralysed him.

Her hands were the only thing holding him in place. He easily could have moved her aside, but the feeling of her palms shaking into his muscles were freezing him in place.

The prick kept yelling out to her, making him grind his teeth together until his jaw hurt. He released a vicious growl as the man called her a bitch once more and he saw her flinch in response. That was enough to push him back into action.

"That's it. Carol. Out"

He hated the tone of his voice and the fact he could hardly hear her over the insults being thrown at her. He wasn't sure if it was some sick attempt to intimidate her, maybe the prick thought if he yelled enough that Carol would decide to let him live. Or maybe he just knew it was over and wanted to let her know he didn't give a fuck. Either way it was pushing him off the edge into a part of himself that he couldn't identify.

One thing Daryl was sure of, was that the man seemed to think that Carol was calling the shots here. That Carol was in charge of the situation before him. Daryl knew that he had most likely come to the conclusion because when Carol had told him to stop, he had.

She stood between them, shaking her head furiously, gripping his arms tightly stopping him from moving forward.

"You don't have to do this. I can- I can do it"

She looked so shattered and tired, like her body was finally giving in. She didn't want to be here, in this room or near that monster. She didn't want to fight or kill. But she was was going to force herself to do it all. He could see in her eyes; her instincts were telling her to run, but she planted her feet into the ground.

"You're going to hell with me. You hear me, you fucking whore"

The man's voice called out to her loudly, cutting her off as she tried to convince Daryl to leave.

He watched Carol flinch again at the sound of the pricks raised voice. He stepped forward without thinking. Moving her with him. Wanting to at least shut him up, so he could fucking hear her out. That's when he looked down at the man's boots.

As soon as he saw the markings on the sole of his shoe, he knew exactly who the man was.

He looked back at Carol who was suddenly quiet and motionless in front of him, knowing he had realised who the man was.

His chest heaved and he could feel his hands shaking as the adrenaline pumped through his veins, stronger than it ever had before.

He couldn't stop himself from thinking about this piece of shit putting his hands on her, grabbing her and dragging her off. He wondered how she got away with only the injuries she had, when his huge hands could have broken her bones with a simple squeeze.

He felt dead inside, everything got cold and hard, so much that an ache ran through every muscle as it tightened beyond belief.  
There was nothing left that he recognised about himself. He didn't know what was happening to himself or what he was going to do. But he did know he didn't want her to be around, to see it unfold.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her feet up off the ground, taking a few steps to the door, shoving her back into the other room. He quickly slammed the door closed and locked it behind him. He heard her run back at it and watched the knob twist as she attempted to open it. But he ignore it. He ignored her pleading and demands, he couldn't focus on a single thing except the dark twisted thoughts running though his mind.

The man began bargaining behind him, but he didn't listen to a word, he didn't care about any plea he had to make. He wondered if the prick knew that the only reason he was still alive, was because he hadn't decided how he was going to kill him yet.

The prick raced through different arguments as Daryl slowly strolled through the dark room glaring at him. The man was scared, the fear was radiating of him and Daryl couldn't believe how much he was enjoying it. As he stopped walking around the room silence finally hit him. Carol was no longer calling out to him and the man had suddenly stopped begging.

He put his gun away and pulled out his knife then tapped it to the sole of the man's boot, as he passed him.

"You're the one who took her, right?"

The man glanced down to his boot and Daryl took the opportunity to step forward and slap the knife from the man's hand.

The prick's eyes darted back to Daryl, as his only weapon hit the ground.

"I didn't do anything to her" The man snapped.

"What?" Daryl spat out in disgust, as the man became more and more distraught by the second. But he still talked like this was all a game, like Carol should just be happy she survived.

There was nothing he could say that would give him a chance to walk away from this. But it didn't stop him from trying.

"I didn't do anything to her" the man promised again, lowing his voice.

Daryl nodded in response as he paced slowly in the dark room. He decided to let the man keep going for the minute, especially when he noticed that the more bullshit the man talked, the more he could feel this twisted, violent thing growing inside of him.

"They weren't meant to take them out. They were drunk, they weren't thinking"

Daryl stopped walking and his brow creased at the information. Trying to understand what the prick was talking about.

"We just needed some girls to get supplies. She got away before anything even happened"

Daryl's rage was quickly put on pause as he took in what he was hearing. He fell back a step and began shaking his head, while the sickening feeling flooded his body.

"You were gonna trade her?" Daryl's words fell out as nothing more than a cold whisper and the man instantly realised that he had said to much.

"We didn't. Nothing happened" A rough tremble ran through his words no matter how hard he tried to keep his voice calm and forceful.

Daryl let out a cold and humourless laugh, that shocked both of them.

"Sounds like something was gonna happen" Daryl pointed out, standing motionless in the dark room.

"Sounds like it was gonna be your people or someone else's" he added taking a single step forward.

The new information fuelling his fury, far past the point he had been at only minutes before.

Daryl noticed the man desperately trying to meet his gaze, trying to tug at something that didn't exist. Assuming he held a shred of understanding for the man's situation. But all it did was make things worse.

He took a few slow steps, until he was standing over him. He stood still, savouring the moment, watching the man panic and desperately try to move out of Daryl's way.

"We needed to survive."

Daryl spun the knifes grip in his hand, nodding.

"How'd that work out for ya?"

Daryl didn't give him a chance to answer, to try and justify what he they had done to Carol again.  
He couldn't bear the bullshit for a second more.

He didn't think, he just let his arm drive down into the bandaged wound, making the man yelp like a dying animal.

Suddenly the prick was trying to move, trying to use what little energy he had left to escape and fight Daryl off. But it was a pointless effort.

Daryl crawled onto the bed beside him and dragged him back onto the mattress, a cold growl erupting from his chest as he pulled the mans body towards him.

He reached over and slowly twisted the knife out of his thigh. He didn't hesitate for a second, he drove it into the centre of his throat, listening as the moans quickly turned into nothing more than the sounds of gurgling.

He could see the blood spitting out of the man's mouth and felt it hitting his skin as he continued pushing the blade in.

He knew then, as his arm swung back and forth into the man's gut. This wasn't just for Carol.

He wasn't doing this, so she didn't have to. _Not this._

This was for him.

The wrath he unleashed on him was rooted into those hours he'd spent without her. He wanted to kill the ass-hole, for every thought that went through his head while she was gone. For thinking everything he had with her wasn't worth more than some fucking supplies. For making him helpless and vulnerable again. For leaving him with nothing to do but run around in circles, wondering where she was and what they were dong to her. For wanting nothing more then to blow his own brains out, just to stop the thoughts invading his mind.

He kept stabbing into him. His face. His stomach. His chest. Everywhere. He kept going long after the man stopped breathing. He didn't stop until his body gave out and forced him to catch his breath.

He finally looked at what he'd done, the sight making his weight fall back. He stumbled of the bed, stepping away until his back hit the wall and he took in the body that he had left unrecognisable. His breaths were pumping through his chest harshly and he stood there for too long looking at the mangled corpse.

A million thoughts racing through his mind, until all he could think about was her.

* * *

**A/N:** One more chapter to go, just to wrap everything up. I know there were some suggestions on how people wanted this story to go, or things they wanted to see happen, but this fic was already finished when I started posting it.

I also just wanted to thank the people who have reviewed, followed and fav'd this story.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

He had to forcibly drag his eyes off the mess he'd created and once he did he felt like he was suffocating in the tiny dark room. He quickly moved from his spot and opened the door, instantly realising she was gone.

He looked around as he made his way through the small house, caught in a panic until he saw her sitting outside on the steps.

He noticed her head turn slightly as he came out, before she let it drift back down to her lap.

He was covered in blood and the shock running through his body, made his muscles twitch as they slowly started to loosen.

He let out a heavy breath trying to calm down, to ashamed to look at her as he sat down beside her.

He couldn't even remember how tightly he had grabbed her or how hard he pushed her. He forced himself to look over at her lap expecting to see her gun in her hands. Instead she held her knife.

Her tiny hands fiddled with the blade. He watched her thumb move back and forth, as if she was trying to remove a smudge he couldn't see.

"Did I hurt ya" he murmured, making her look up at him.

"No" she answered quickly, as if she didn't want him to consider it for a second longer.

He could tell she wasn't lying, but he couldn't bring himself to look up after everything he just did.

Silence fell over them and he realised the anger had not only subsided, but it had completely vanished. Leaving him with nothing but the sadness and aching he had felt when he lost her.

He watched her thumb continue to graze over the shiny blade, only thinking of one single thing, one question he wanted an answer to.

"What were ya gonna say Carol" was all he could manage. He spoke quietly but the sound of his voice stung the silence and made her body jolt. Her features twisted for a second as she tried to register what he was saying.

"What?" she murmured. Her brow creasing, showing just how confused the question had made her.

"That morning, before it happened. You were gonna say something to me" he watched her body become rigid and he felt her gaze fixed on him.

He knew she remembered. He'd known it since last night. He'd seen the recognition in her eyes and he knew it had to have been something important. She wouldn't have bothered hiding it if it wasn't.

"I just wanted to know what it was" he mumbled so quietly it was barely more then a buzzing.

"That I love you"

She spoke the words clearly and and the sound of them made freeze, realising that was the first time she had ever said them aloud to him.

"Why didn't you say it?" he questioned, wondering if he had done something to change her

mind.

She sighed and shrugged with a hint of s smile on her face. "Because you already know"

He automatically nodded in response. He did know. Of course, he knew that.

But he wondered why he had to make it so hard for her to say. Like she thought the words scared him. Maybe a long time ago they did, though he couldn't remember why he ever would have feared hearing them from her.

The silence became thick again, as he searched for the right words. But there was nothing but simple sentences offered to him.

"I'm sorry Carol", he made himself look her in the eyes, she had earned that from him. Even if it hurt and he was embarrassed of how he must look right now.

"Why? For what?"

He watched her brow furrow as she turned to face him. Not understanding how her eyes met his so easily. She looked at him as she always did, not like she just heard him viciously murder someone in the next room. She looked at him with the same compassion and understanding she always had.

"You were right. I didn't want to be in there"

Her words were soft and careful but they still surprised him.

"Not for that" he said gesturing to the cabin.

He wasn't sorry killing them before she had the chance. He wasn't sorry for tricking her, so he could make sure he got to them first. She had been through enough and no matter how disgusted with himself he was, there was no regret mixed into it.

But when he thought about all the things he wanted apologise for, and found himself at a loss for where to start.

"I didn't-…", was all that he could get out before he stopped and shook his head to himself.

He watched her examining him, her eyes full of concern he didn't deserve and couldn't bare to see staring back at him.

She put the blade down and reached over to him. His eyes were still focused on her face until felt a pull at his hand.

When he looked down he found that she was slowly trying to ply the bloody knife from his grip.

He didn't know he was still holding it tightly in his grip, like he was ready to attack. The sight made his hand spring open, hating how it looked.

He watched as she slowly took the knife. As soon as it was gone he started rubbing his hands on his pants trying to get the blood off, but it seemed to just spread it out.

Nervousness started to flood him, making him try harder to rid himself of the evidence, but he wasn't getting anywhere.

Suddenly her palm was pressed over his wrist. Stopping the rough movements.

He watched her curl her fingers into his, covering her own hand in the blood without hesitation. The other hand came up and moved the hair of his face, twisting the locks up behind his ear.

"I didn't want you to be alone…" he admitted staring at her hand twisted into his. The shake in his body caused the words to vibrate out of his mouth but he couldn't stop it.

He could feel her thumb lightly rubbing the spot on his neck where it rested, braking him down with each soft caress.

"I didn't want you to think that I wasn't looking for you, that I wasn't thinking about you every second, cause I was" he rambled out quickly, only stopping when her fingers stopped running through his hair and slid down onto his face.

He was taken back by the small warm touch and the sweet smile that had grown on her

Mouth, wondering why she was looking at him like that. Especially while he looked like this.

"I thought you knew? I mean, you found me on the trail, right?",

He shook his head slightly, trying to understand what she meant.

He felt her hand fall on to his thigh, squeezing it lightly and using it to pull herself closer to him.

"I just ran. I didn't even know where I was. Then I found this barn and I saw your tracks. I saw which way your car was heading" she said smiling to herself as she moved her hands to his face.

"You lead me home". She whispered warmly, holding his eyes on hers. "I wasn't alone."

She leaned in even closer pulling her brow to his, and running her hands over the side of his face to his neck, killing the ache that he thought had cemented itself in him forever. "I could see you everywhere."

His chest released a heavy breath with so much force that it sounded as though he had been holding it in for weeks.

Without a second passing, he slid his hands around her waist and pulled her as close as he could.

He had to believe she was right, it was the only way to ease any of the pain caused. He

had to tell himself that he was never alone and neither was she. Even when it really felt like they were.

Every minute of it had stood for something in the end. Knowing they were wondering around in circles together, was all he had and he was going to cling to it.

* * *

She stopped digging when he did, both of them dropping the shovels on the ground.

He looked across to her when she didn't move, finding her starring at the hole. He knew she didn't want to do the next part, she just couldn't bring herself to say it.

He nodded to himself and turned slowly, leaving her standing there. He pulled the blanket out of their truck and walked back over to Abigail's body. He laid the blanket out flat on the ground and opened the car door to find the girl, just as they had left her.

He slid his hands under her body and pulled her form the car. He placed her gently on the blanket and started folding it around her.

There was no easy fix and nothing he could say that could make this better. He knew that for sure because she would have said it when he couldn't bring Sophia back to her. She would have said it after he'd had to put his own brother down.

Carol helped him lower the body into the ground and stood back as he filled the grave in with dirt. Then they just sat there.

Hours passed by and he didn't say anything. This was for her, and he would stay there all night if that's what she wanted.

It wasn't until it started getting dark that she stood quietly and held her hand out for him. He was still covered in dried blood and she still didn't seem to care. He took the offer and let her help him to his feet so he could drive them home.

She didn't say a word on the ride home. Not when Rick greeted them at the gates. Not even when they got into bed.

* * *

The following weeks were the hardest.

Once there was nothing left to occupy herself with, she had to deal with everything.

Some days she seemed so angry and frustrated, but she wouldn't tell him why.

Then there were times when she hardly spoke. Days would pass and she barely said a word to him or anyone else, to the point where the silence was deafening. Some mornings she would wake and she seemed fine, until something ticked over in her mind that ruined the peace she was struggling to maintain.

He didn't care how she acted. Not one bit of it frustrated him. He never once tried to make her talk when she didn't want to, he didn't crowd her if she wanted to avoid him all day.

He just had to remind himself of the night he had sat with her in the car, wishing she would stop trying to block everything out. Even though it wouldn't seem like it to most people, she was willingly exposing everything that was stirring inside and he was going to let her feel it. She didn't smile and pretend everything was ok, and oddly enough he preferred her anger, grief and frustration to happy facade.

It was different to how they were before, they were different, and he knew it would probably never be how it was. She was more jumpy and some days there was no other word to describe her then depressed. And though some people liked to say he'd become more overprotective, he thought that basic fact as that he was more paranoid. There were days when he was convinced something bad was going to happen to her, he was so sure of it that he drove himself near insane.

But that was ok. He could easily accept that if he got to wake up next to her and be with her every day.

* * *

After months had passed and he found he could make smile again. Before now, he had forgotten how easy and satisfying it was to do.

He pulled the sheet back, then quickly stepped into the cell when he realised she wasn't wearing a shirt.

He'd stood leaning against the door frame, just watching her. She was bent over, wearing nothing but her jeans and a bra, scavenging through a pile of clothes.

He took note of how messy the cell was, smiling as she tossed things around the room, no doubt looking for her shirt.

She grabbed another handful of his clothes and threw them onto the bed and he had to bite his cheek so he didn't start laughing.

"That doesn't go there" he said quietly with a smirk.

Her head turned, realising she had an audience. Without skipping a beat, she grabbed the first thing she could see and threw it at him. He caught the boot and smiled as she stood up.

"How am I supposed to get ready when I can't find anything" she complained, a frustrated laugh escaping her lips as she looked around at the mess he had made.

He raised an eyebrow and walked toward her, looking her up and down as he got closer, "guess it depends what you're getting ready for".

The suggestion in his tone was clear and he enforced it by grabbing her hips and pulling her body up against his. He dropped his head onto her shoulder and started kissing her neck. He slid his hand to the front of her stomach and started unbuttoning her jeans.

"They're waiting one me" she argued but made no attempts to move from his grasps.

"Let em fuckin' wait" he said as he began moving her back towards the bed.

She didn't need any more convincing than that.

* * *

It had been at least a year. He couldn't remember exactly. Days went by quickly and he was lost in a repetitive routine, that made the months blur together.

He woke in the hot stuffy cell, with her hot moist skin stuck to his. His face was pressed into her neck, that he had started kissing, before he had fully woken up.

She quietly moaned in response to him shifting his body so he was on top of her, following his lead by sliding her body under his body. He smiled as his lips finally made it up to her mouth and her hands ran over his chest and around his neck, pulling all his weight down on her.

"Daryl you ready to go?" Rick called from down the hall. He pulled his lips back from hers to look at her smiling up at him.

"I'll see you when you get back" he said before kissing her once more and lifting his body out of bed. Rick yelled again, when he didn't get a response, making his eyes roll.

"I'm comin'" he snapped, trying not to sound annoyed, but not really succeeding.

"Well, maybe later" Carol said with a smile, watching him pull his pants up.

"Stop."

* * *

He finished loading the cars with Rick and Michonne getting ready to leave for a run when she caught his eye.

She stood alone, getting ready to start breakfast. He chewed his lip for a moment watching her, before he chucked his crossbow into the backseat.

She made her way around the grill with a large tray, obviously lost in her own thoughts.

He got to her as she put the empty tray on the ground, watching her spot his boots approaching.

She quickly looked up with a surprised grin covering her face.

"Forget something?" she said rising to her feet, squinting at him through the glaring sunlight.

He didn't say anything as he nodded, he opened his mouth but nothing came out.

She paused, taking in his nervous expression, as he moved closer to her.

Her head shook slightly, trying to understand what he was doing when he slowly reached out and took her hand.

He got lost in her blue eyes and forgot about the dozens of people around them as he leaned down, slowly pressing his lips to hers for a long moment.

He could feel their eyes on him and he wouldn't expect anything else. But he didn't expect her to blush and bite her lip as he pulled away, as if she was trying to control the smile from completely covering her face.

"Love you


End file.
